When Joseph Brittingham was attacked and beaten by armed robbers in his Upper West Side apartment late one Saturday night in November of 2008, he sustained multiple concussions so severe that it was questionable whether he'd even survive, let alone regain his previous mental and physical abilities. After over two years of intensive care and ongoing, excruciating physical rehabilitation, Joseph...
What if the law of the jungle were also the law of kindness, compassion, and love? Well, if East Village kitty Sammy Mesda has anything to do with it, one day it very well could be. Sammy, whose blackness, litheness, and sleekness can only call...
Newt Gingrich's latest campaign promise has NASA and Dems on tenterhooks: to colonize the Moon with Romney supporters, vegans and telemarketers. While the absence of unwanted masses in those categories might improve American life as we know it, the p...
Liquoreville, Montana Vampire, Jerry Done-Drinking has recently announced that he has forgone the traditional practice of drinking blood to become a vegan. Apparently, the town of Liquoreville, which residents have accumulated the most DWI's per c...
The Vegan Organisation against Meat (VOM) have suggested that if everyone in the world gave up meat, then there would be enough room on the planet to grow food for an extra 3 billion people. VOM whine that it takes 10 square metres of farmland to...
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - In a situation that can only be listed under the heading of "So you thought you had seen and heard it all," comes word that the Jessica Simpson-Eric Johnson wedding scheduled for November 11, may not be taking place after all due to...
London - An industrial tribunal heard today how seedy vegans attempted to oust the former Governor of the Tower of London from his prestigious Beefeater position. Major General Keith Cima described how 'enemies' in an anti-bullying investigation l...
Vegans and Cheese This week at the Curdsville Dairy Farm, we tried to pacify all those Vegan protesters we caught stomping around our Alfalfa fields last week, by agreeing to mix tofu curds in with some of our best Colby cheese. We figured we might open up a whole new cheese market maybe, for folks who want to claim they're Vegans, but who still wear leather shoes, and generously butter their...
London - Her lettuce and spinach salad has to be humanely stunned first, of course, before the thinnest smear of dressing sees it fit for eating. And now that Kate Middleton's legendary diet secret is out the public is being asked: should someone...
If you thought vegans were insane (and let's be honest, they are), you won't believe the new craze which is taking California by storm. Vegetarians refuse to eat meat, the most tasty food on the planet. Vegans refuse to eat any animal products like milk and honey, and live solely off plants. But now there is a group which refuses to eat any living thing at all. They're formally called lithiv...
According to a militant animal rights website, talk show host and stand-up comedian, Ellen Degeneres is preparing a bunny costume for her talk show Friday, April 1, 2011. This costume happens to consist of none other than a scrumptious, health-co...
I'm A Celebrity - Get Me Out Of Here! - Latest news is that Scottish turd analyst and vegan serial fainter, Gillian McKeith is distinctly not establishing herself as the nation's sweetheart. Our Gillian, who never tires of expounding the benefits...
A senior animal rights activist today alleged that Siberian tigers were little more than wild animals when it came to dietary options. Seymour Bottomley insisted that Siberian tigers have a choice when it comes to dietetics and that in most cases...
At it's launch today the the virulently anti-animal group People for the Unethical Treatment of Animals or PUTA caused many vegans to lose their dinner.
Heather Mills, the limping former wife of ex-Beatle Sir Paul Mills-McCartney, has gone public on the reasons for the couple's acrimonious split - thousands of rats!...
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