As if Pigs aren't getting enough of a bad rep at the moment, along comes science to bad mouth Billy Bear and all things meaty. New findings by the "world cancer research foundation" have been announced linking eating processed meat such as ham and...
Farmers worldwide are "gravely concerned" after the first fatal case of man-flu in pigs was confirmed in a report, written by scientists, yesterday. The news validates the anxieties of thousands of farmers - who have reported unusual swine behavio...
Scientists have confirmed that the type of Swine Flu experienced by men is much more painful and distressing than that contracted by women. Men, on detecting the first symptoms, are advised to go home, lie on the couch and watch TV. Fluid intak...
A pig in Shropshire, England, today became the first animal to catch the human illness of politicians' flu. The pandemic of politicians' 'flu has spread across the world in recent months, and scientists feared it was only a matter of time before a mu...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In the Senate, key negotiators broke up a session Monday, prompting American farm animals to criticize senators from both parties, who they claim "have the taxpayer feedbags on again." With the protracted debate of health care o...
The International Air Transport Association, at a highly secret unpublicised public meeting in Upper Kalskag, Alaska, today announced a world-wide policy to protect the public from the dreaded SWINE FLU VIRUS. Speaking at a press conference after...
In a test case that has serious implications for the fourth estate, a pig is to sue both local and national newspapers for defamation after unflattering comparisons to Members of Parliament were made in print. News International, Associated Newspa...
It has just been revealed by the government that in an effort to combat the slow burning swine flu pandemic, that every home in the country is to be issued with a free pig. PM Gordon Broon told a packed House Of Commons: "We've thought long and...
Pigs and general swine (not General Swine - he was the one who defeated the Aztecs in Venezuela during World war Two) have been put on full alert as a form of Human Flu sweeps through farmyards, abattoirs and bacon-curing plants in Mexico. The min...
To Old Macdonald's Farm where a recent outbreak of illness appears to be bucking the media feeding frenzy thats got us all feeling "pigsick". In a bizarre twist in the tail,the crashing boars at "Old Browns Farm" all seem to have contracted what can...
Designer silk purse maker Louis Hamvuitton has called in the receivers after failing to secure supplies of suitable raw materials. Trading standards officers have confirmed that they can no longer make their products from sows' ears due to constrain...
Medical Researchers at Johns Hopkins University, in conjunction with the Mayo Clinic, have discovered the source of Swine Flu. The outbreak did not originate in Mexico as was previously thought. In fact, the disease begin in Hollywood. The outbr...
Two armed British pigs have shot dead two suspected terrorist Mexican pigs at Heathrow Airport. The two armed pigs shot the two suspected terrorist Mexican pigs after CCTC showed they were about to let loose a biological weapon, namely Mexican Swi...
Whispers are spreading through Westminster that the prime minister is intending to use the swine flu danger to gain electoral advantage. Just as Tony Blair was able to push aside fuel protestors when foot and mouth created a national danger in 200...
Miss Piggy, actress and star of television, stage, and screen, has become the first celebrity victim of the Swine Flu Epidemic. The 39 year old actress passed away at Hollywood Hills Hospital surrounded by family, friends, and a representative from...
Health experts in Mexico are tonight preparing to carry out an autopsy on a pig that is thought to have died from the deadly strain of Swine Flu. The sow, a scrawny-looking animal called Rosy, was discovered this morning by her owner, who was keen...
GRAND RAPIDS, MI - Three pigs were found dead this morning at Goody Pig Productions of Grand Rapids, MI. Human flu has been officially confirmed as the cause of death in all three cases. Michigan pig producers have been advised to take necessary st...
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