How dare you! You have been away again! Where have you been? Continued from Up The Buses! - Part 13C. Up The Buses! - Part 13C. FLASHBACK to previous dynamic episodes that you MAY have so shamefully missed, to get you ALL up to speed! BIG-BUSTY CLIPPIE: "So the first ever Local and District Bus Traction Brothel Tour will undoubtedly be the social event of the year! I wouldn't m...
Where have you been, you have been away, what's your problem? Continued from Up The Buses! - Part 13B. Up The Buses! - Part 13B." Flashback to previous episodes that you MAY have so disgracefully missed, to get you ALL up to speed! BLAKEY: (talking to himself) "I must not get worked up. I hate Butler, but I must not get worked up! I must be jovial and kind at all times today to take...
You have been away, what's your problem, where have you been? Continued from Up The Buses! - Part 13A Up The Buses! - Part 13A." ACT 2, Scene 6 Camera 4 pans close up to Blakeys face, beads of sweat can be seen on his reddened face. Blakeys eyes are on stalks, frothing foaming from his mouth and gasping for air all at the same time. BLAKEY: "I have never seen anything like tha...
Justin Beiber has been asked to star in a Super Bowl Commercial. It is not yet known which product he will endorse. Beer is out because of his young age. KY and Jelly and comdoms are also out, for obvious reasons. His mom is going to have the f...
The decision to go ahead with Royal condoms for the forthcoming marriage of Prince William and Kate Middleton (as reported in these columns in an exclusive yesterday is worrying the Queen. Children have been asking their parents what condoms are f...
Sales of Royal Wedding condoms, to celebrate the wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton, have erupted throughout the world. Manufacturers Crown Jewels Condoms of Distinction have really hit the spot with this brilliant marketing idea. The co...
London - (Tears Before Beditme!): The newly launched royal wedding souvenir three-packs come with fortune cookie-esque slips of paper offering matrimonial tips. These include 'Phantom pregnancy: your boyfriend's a ghost!' and 'Should've seen it co...
Following another failed penetration of a wide bottomed South Korean tanker, Somali pirates were withdrawn from the tanker at the point of the breach and rendered harmless by South Korean forces. "Thankfully they were not fully prepared for the en...
Union leaders told the PM that ConDem cuts were "dangerous and divisive" during a mince pie summit at Downing Street yesterday. Whilst eating mince pies and drinking egg nog yesterday, Union leaders told the Prime Minister that, indeed - cuts in c...
God has been in contact with Pope Benedict DIVVI over his Papal ruling that condoms are acceptable in extreme circumstances, stating through a burning chrysanthemum bush that there are no extreme circumstances extreme enough to warrant the use of a c...
The Vatican is busy putting a spin on the Pope's recent edict that condoms are 'a little bit of all right...sometimes", after a retired Jesuit Priest took the proclamation a little too far and wound up pleasuring his female neighbors in the Nort...
It may be the biggest shopping weekend of the year but the other celebrations will just have to wait awhile. "We can't have sex without condoms", stated one customer for the sixth time since he arrived at a bar three hours ago and decided to stay...
News that the Pope has opted to "kick start" a debate on the use of condoms in Catholic World has caused a predictable stir. Surprisingly few pundits have welcomed the move, viewing this daring exploration of the outskirts of the nineteenth centur...
Pope Benedict will make commercials for the "Papal Bull," a church-made condom specifically fashioned to protect gay males from AIDS. In making the announcement, Vatican Rubbers, Inc., lauded the pontiff for his recent suggestion that condoms-pre...
Despite being welcomed as a step in the right direction, the Pope's relaxation of the Roman Catholic church's total ban on contraceptives has still left questions unanswered. Last week, Pope Benedict, surprised observers world-wide by suggesting t...
Vatican - The Vatican is confirming Pope Benedict XVI is changing his stance on condom use after a close call with a male prostitute. A Vatican spokesman said: "The pope had a close call when it came to a night he spent with a male prostitute. Th...
Pope Benedict has made billions protecting the flock from 'The Inferno.' Now Pope Benedict has teamed up with the makers of 'Woolite', 'Lysol' and 'Durex Condoms' to protect the flock from 'The Inferno' of overpopulation by manufacturing Durex Brand...
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