The sight of 22 highly paid footballers in Marseille last night attempting to play football has risen suspicions amongst the UEFA and an after-match investigation has proven, doping was involved. In fact it's an authentic case because both teams w...
Just in. Manchester United arrived in Marseille for their Champions League round of sixteen clash without socks, following a cock-up by the head kit man. Insiders say that the error means that the only socks the United party have available are th...
Manchester - (Coochy-Coochy-Coo): Has Wayne Rooney got a bouncing 8lb indiscretion somewhere that we've not been told about? Categorically not! However Red Top gush about a camera left behind at the Mad MEN Arena last year is full of 'Coleen: M...
In the fallout from Crawley Town's heroic bid to 'stick it to the man' when they performed heroically against the mighty Manchester United, it was inevitable that there would be casualties. Sergio Torres, of Crawley Town, wasn't one of them. Havin...
Fans of Manchester United are this morning waking up to the amazing news that the job of manager Sir Alex Ferguson is under threat after angry supporters launched a "Get Fergie Out" campaign in the wake of Saturday's gargantuan struggle against non-L...
Manchester City executives have announced that they are "serious" about signing the entire Crawley Town squad after the non-League team frightened the life out of City's arch rivals Manchester United in the FA Cup 5th Round at Old Trafford on Saturda...
Man Utd boss Sir Alex Ferguson declared himself "relieved and absolutely delighted " after the Red Devils just made it through to the next round of the FA Cup. Fergie was beaming at the post match press conference and was fulsome in his praise for...
No sooner had the the FA Cup Draw paired mighty Goliaths Manchester United with plucky non-league would-be Davids Crawley Town than Crawley manager Steve Evans' phone was going ballistic, writes The Daily Shitstirrer's Football Bullshit Cashcow Corre...
Wayne Rooney's wonder goal in the Manchester derby on Saturday has been voted the Greatest TV Moment in History, according to a survey of narrow minded, parochial U.K. residents. The overhead kick, which gave the Old Trafford side a late 2-1 victo...
MANCHESTER - The Colombian belly dancing firecracker Shakira and the Mexican Manchester United footballer Chicharito are celebrating their first month anniversary. Shakira, whose hips have been clocked at 124 miles per hour, told a reporter for Ta...
Manchester derby games are always tense and tightly contested affairs, and todays Old Trafford clash between the Londoners and their noisy neighbours did little to break the mould. City appeared to have a slight edge in the first half, playing ass...
Ryan Giggs' Yoga Guru has stunned Manchester United Football chiefs by giving them an offer that they definitely can refuse. He told the very rich, very fat group of couch potatoes that the only way to gain enlightenment is through fasting and pover...
Gary Neville, the former Manchester United right back, has been knocked back from his application to get the vacancy at Sky Sports following the departure of Andy Grey and Richard Keys over the Sian Massey Affair. According to his agent, Mony Grab...
Much to the relief of one of professional football's most overpaid actors, Wayne Rooney, the £4.5 million commission being sought by his former agency was all a mistake. Speaking with relief, having taken this week's salary in cash and it being a...
It was proven yesterday that just because you are a spoilt multi-millionaire footy player playing for the biggest club in the world means not a lot when you enter the den of a pack of hungry "Wolves". In fact if you enter with the attitude of a fl...
Manchester United have announced in a statement on their website this morning that former captain Gary Neville has hung his boots up. Neville, 35, who has made a staggering 602 appearances for the Reds, decided to hang the boots up in the corner o...
Gary Neville, the Manchester United and former England right-back, has announced his retirement from professional game, and all connected with football will be sad to see him go. Neville, 44, joined United from school, aged 8, in 1956, and has ma...
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