The Dark Lord, as he is familiarly known to many in and around the cottages of Hampstead Heath, was keen to participate in the well-known genealogy TV series "Who Do You Think You Are". Petey-Poos, as he loves to be called, was staggered to discov...
In a hissy fit the like of which has not been seen since John McEnroe's glory days at Wimbledon, the USA has declared its position on Libyan oil reserves. "We do not actually give a skinny shit about the release of the Lockerbie bomber - it was on...
Sometimes, we all wish we could be Mythbusters. The latest triumph for the team debunks the long-standing urban myth that chewing Altoid mints prior to giving head can improve sensation for the fellated one. The male Mythbusters were provided wi...
One thousand CCTV cameras are used to secure every conviction of every criminal in Britain! This impressive statistic was provided by the Society Of Camera Retailers And Professionals (SOCRAP) at the society's annual awards dinner. "This means...
Spoof insiders can today reflect on a job well done. Spoof writers reported many aspects of Michael Jackson' death that the investigation team would never have considered and thus inspired the police to dig deep. "It was a report by Spoof Writer B...
Cabbage Whites, Greater Fritilliaries, Camberwell Beauties and any other butterfly species you can think of are soon to be wiped from the face of the planet. Global climatologists have discovered that a single butterfly flapping its wings in the m...
An unprecedented rise in the world retail total sales index (the WROOTSIE) has been the subject of detailed analysis by the World Money Bank (WMB). The WMB has decided that the only consistent, significant international causative factor of the 38%...
A Warrant Officer of the US Army is always within sight of the president of the United States and he carries the "football" - the nickname for the briefcase containing the codes and orders for launching nuclear strikes. The president, enraged at t...
The Scots have aspired to their own government for centuries and the Scottish Parliament was established in Edinburgh 10 years ago. The parliamentary building, Holyrood House, vastly exceeded its budget in terms of time and cost and was a white el...
Convicted Lockerbie bomber, terrorist Abdel Baset Ali al-Megrahi was flown home to Libya yesterday and received a hero's welcome when he touched down in the oil-rich territory. He emerged, smiling, from the aircraft and seemed visibly to become yo...
Struggling golf professional, "Duke" York is to join the British Royal Family. Much-loved by the Royal and Ancient Golf Club of St Andrews, Fife, the Duke - as he is known to all and sundry on the Old Course, has been a professional since the age...
Former UK Prime Minister and European Union President - in - waiting Tony Bliar has brokered a deal with new US president Barracks Obama. Apparently, David Beckham (England soccer star) and his relatively unknown wife, the former Spice Girl Victor...
Leading Wren Latifah Ngorongoro has been arrested for smuggling coke on HMS Erythroxylon. As a result of a sting operation by the Royal Navy's Special Investigations Branch, coke with a street value of over £1 million was discovered in the destroy...
Michael Jackson is to celebrate his 51st birthday by being buried at Forest Lawn cemetry, LA. The ceremony, sponsored by the National Society for the Protection of Children, is to be televised for an anticipated audience of 16 billion. Diana Ro...
Recent reports of a spate of Ipod explosions have triggered an investigation by police and anti-terror agencies throughout Europe. The authorities fear that it is only a matter of time until the "IBomb" - a nickname for official use only - becomes...
Particles so small as to be invisible to the naked eye have placed Prince Philip very firmly at the head of the suspect list in last week's £40 million Bond Street robbery. When leading underworld figures were unable to finger the firm involved in...
There has been a quiet revolution in the monitoring of golf-watching standards around the world. For 3 years ago, a GolfWatch panel was established and it has quietly and diligently observed the world of the golf fan. GolfWatch has now issued...
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