Manchester United Yankee owner Win Doe Glazer has decided that the team will withdraw from all European fixtures for the rest of the season. A United spokesman confirmed the withdrawal, which will happen after next weeks Europa League second leg...
Harry Redknapp performed a dramatic u-turn today, worthy of a cockney cab driver or posh Prime Minister, and accepted the England job even though the Football Association haven't offered it to him. Speaking at White Hart lane after Man United beat...
Wayne Rooney, the Manchester United and England footballer, has picked up an injury at his Doctors Private Surgery, and will miss the next two matches for his team. Dr E. Coli's nurse, Gaye Hooker explained to our reporter what took place in the D...
Wayne Rooney put a positive spin on Manchester United's exit from the Champions League telling the waiting press pack he 'can't wait' to play in the Europa League. "Yeah, it's great, I've never played on a Thursday night before - well exciting - when...
Chicharito and Wayne rooney have been secretly practicing how to look convincing whilst praying on their knees before important occasions. Rooney must go in front of a UEFA commission tomorrow in a bid to reduce his punishment for kicking an opponent...
We caught up with Wayne Rooney yesterday, shopping alone on the Manc high street. We initially saw him hiding under a Nike hoodie 37 sizes to small for him (looked like something that'd fit his son Kai), emerging from Bobbers, a hair salon. We shouted his name to try and let onto him. 'Shrek, Shrek!' we screamed. He turned around, saw us, and ran away as quick as he would after looking in...
Premier league footballers are to be exonerated for their verbal controversies following the revelation that they are too inherently stupid to understand the literary connotations of what makes a given combination of words racist, a new study has fou...
Vincent Kompany, captain of Manchester City, has been awarded with the official title of football's largest head, say F.A chiefs. "We don't mean he's a boaster, or a cocky so-and-so," said Carl Bender, F.A spokesman, "we just mean he has the bigge...
FA Headquarters, Wembley, LONDON: Following the shock decision to 'ave our main striker Wayne 'Roonstone' Rooney, banned for three matches after his alleged lashing out at opposition forces, The FA have been deliberating whether to appeal against th...
Wayne Rooney has been offered a part in a west end show when the current football season ends and according to close friends he's considering it. "He's out of the first three qualifying games in the European championships so yes he has time to...
Wayne Rooney is primed to deliver a string of his most effective England performances in years after manager Fabio Capello revealed he would be benching the striker for the build-up to Euro 2012 after being sent off in Montenegro on Friday. The It...
England, under Fabio Capello, qualified for the finals of Euro 2012 in Montenegro last night, despite 'talismanic' strike Wayne Rooney's dismissal after 73 minutes. The Manchester Utd Scouse hair transplant victim was sent off for kicking Dzudovic...
Liverpool - Investigators probing suspected cricket match fixing have arrested a number of people including someone with the same name as the famous Manchester United striker. Wayne Rooney Senior was described as 'seventh of nine' in the group hel...
Manchester United boss Sir Alex Ferguson has announced a surprise selection for his named striker in the Champion's League match against Basel at Old Trafford. After losing stars Wayne Rooney and Javier Hernandez to injury, Ferguson was said to be...
Manchester United striker, Wayne Rooney, has finally come clean and admitted where they took the follicles from to implant in his head. For a hair implant like Rooney's the surgeons take hair from elsewhere on the body, and insert it into the scal...
Liverpool's manager, Kenny "the Scot" Dalglish, has made an audacious bid to bring Liverpool's prodigal son back home by offering Man Utd everything they have! In the offer was the Anfield stadium, 100 million quid, the freedom of Liverpool for Si...
It was the "Good, the Bad and the Ugly" yesterday at Wembley: The Good were Man United showing the footy world that Sir Alex, even at 70, has got his head screwed on as United run rings around Man City! The Bad was Man City, a bunch of collective...
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