Just when you thought they were all under sedation one slips under the net. Yes, Ms Teresa May has escaped again and announced yet another classic 'why-bother-to-even-work-it-out-scheme'! With more than a passing nod, or in her case, re-occuring S...
A middle aged man dressed in rusty mail, a stained cod piece, carrying a broad sword and long bow, was detained after an inquiry into the cause of 22 mysterious deaths of travelers asphyxiated under a 5 acre St. George Cross the first day of the Wor...
According to the latest BBC report, London, Birmingham and Manchester constitute 'two cities', not, as is commonly thought, three. The news came during an article on the BBC's website about the US singer Chris Brown, who had been refused a visa to...
After 93 minutes of boredom, ineptitude and misery, God, watching from his lofty heights in his VIP, SKY box, decided enough is enough! A miracle over the sunny Manchester skies happened yesterday as a fiery bolt from heaven struck and gave everyb...
The Manchester Evening News Arena rocked last night like it's never rocked before. Ever. Peter Kay, the 1999 Treble winning United team, Take That? Forget it. Forget all of it. The Bonkettes blew this city apart, making Freddie And The Dreamers appear like nothing more than a distant memory. From the off they were smokin' With guests Ronnie Wood on guitar and Stewart Copeland of the...
The case for the Manchester pie killing was closed yesterday with a guilty verdict against the staff of London based 'Boobies Family Steakhouse' of killing Manchester man and pie lover Anthony Morgan after he was caught eating a pie. Mr Morgan (56...
Manchester airport have unveiled their latest device to counter terrorism, or at least this is what they claim. The terrahertz scanner, or Counter-Terror Hurts Scanner as it has been dubbed by insiders, is the X-Ray glasses that were always advert...
Given the amazing success that Boris Johnson has had as Mayor of London, Manchester wants to get in on the act and have it's own bumbling buffoon of an elected Mayor of Manchester. The Greater Manchester public have greeted this news with somethin...
Manchester (Wet Soggy North) The Soviet Union drew up plans for an invasion of Manchester during the Cold War. Professor Cantona of Old Trafford College recently studied the plans. "The detail is amazing. Yes, they used ordinance survey maps and sate...
Ornithologists have decreed null and void archaic the law that states that seldom seen birds are to be admired above those that are quite commonly spotted. Woody Woodpecker, the head ornithologist at St. Anus' College, Manchester, said that the an...
Paramedics, doctors and other medical experts were rushed into the football stadium in Rome straight after the final whistle to attend to what they thought was an extremely ill Sir Alex Ferguson following Manchester United's defeat at the feet of Bar...
A spokesman for Manchester City Council today announced that the northern British metropolis, home of the world famous football team, Manchester City, was effectively immune to the effects of global warming. Council Person Frank Backbottom told th...
A notoriously violent gang have been jailed for life. The "Manc Boys" were accused of turning Chicago into something like downtown Manchester. One local resident, John Cole of Nova Mews, said "They would appear heavily armed. Then they would shoot th...
One-time rock and roll hard man, Liam Gallagher, has launched his new clothing line 'Pretty Green' because he couldn't find the kind of clothes he likes in the high street. "It's mental man" the mouthy Mancunian told reporters today. "Primark used...
Inter Milan manager Jose Mourinho was being investigated by Greater Manchester Police today, after allegedly assaulting himself after the Champions' League match at Old Trafford. Witnesses said they heard Mourinho shout to himself: 'I am the chose...
Manchester, England - Greater Manchester Police today had to appeal to neighbouring police and law enforcement agencies for assistance as thousands of Mancunians spontaneously collapsed in fits of laughter following arch rivals Liverpool being trashe...
After a third injury in two years, the iconic Manchester sculpture the Bee of the Bang is to be dismantled and sold for scrap. The sculpture looks like a frozen firework, but though impressive, current engineering technology has made this ambitiou...
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