Dear Constituents I have had a very hectic few days. Amongst the best forgotten highlights was a meeting with a civil servant. This meeting was necessary as I am occasionally required to represent the views of Krupton's rural community. Those living in cities might imagine this community to consist of wealthy hereditary farmers with vast acres of woodland and fields and their farm hands livi...
Dear Constituents I have had a very hectic week so far, much of it taken up with dealing with constituents very angry about the banks. I have become quite used to this anger over the last year or so but an MP has to be very careful replying to some emails - in one case from a woman unable to pay the mortgage and with bailiffs about to move in. My first nightmare image was of a front pag...
Dear Constituents I had such a hectic weekend but it was spoiled again by the rain. For those constituents untrained in meteorology I can confirm that the current weather is caused by the jet stream having moved much further south this year. However, I suspect a more obvious link to the Eurozone crisis. As a result, I have asked the Met Office to look into the likelihood of a conspiracy...
Dear Constituents What a hectic week and it's only Wednesday. My theme today is Europe and so my Newsletter is full of complicated statistics that might only be full appreciated by my constituents with a decent education. So, for the majority of you (and that includes that upstart who thinks he's in with a chance to take over from me at the next election) I'll try to simplify things.
Dear Constituents I've had such a hectic weekend and it didn't go as I planned. Saturday began with Mrs Kelp demanding that I devote what she called some "overdue quality time" with my family. I made the mistake of replying that weekends are the only time I get for devoting quality time to my constituents. At this point she got rather cross and said that the least I could do would be to spe...
The latest craze sweeping the United Kingdom could be headed stateside soon as British kids go head over heels trading collectable cards portraying the images of Members of Britain's Parliament. The cards, manufactured by Ashbro, contain not only...
Dear constituents: I have had a very hectic week. But first I'd like to thank my constituent, Mr Arkwright, for emailing me to say that if you kick the car park ticket machines twice, you not only get a ticket but a full refund of your original 50p. Such is the value of this newsletter that I'm wondering if I should start charging for it to boost my re-election fund. Today, being Saturday...
Dear Constituents It has been a very hectic start to the week. But the time has gone quickly as I have been discussing the Euro crisis with my MP friend and mentor, Milton Mancini, the MP for Pipstock. Now as you know, Milton has strong Italian connections although he has been resident in this country since a boy. Milton's father brought him here about fifty years ago to escape the stress...
Dear Constituents. I have had a very hectic weekend. The weekend of any good MP like me is a very busy one although sometimes it is complicated by domestic matters. My wife was urgently summoned to visit her mother in Macclesfield on Friday afternoon. Despite the effect this sort of last minute announcement can make to my own social plans, it can have benefits such as a welcome relief an...
Dear Constituents I have had a most hectic week That Mrs Delloitte was on the train again on Wednesday morning. Why she couldn't take the entire Jubilee week off like most retired people I don't know. At least she was not sat in my seat, but, as usual, she appeared to be reading the Financial Times. I suspect she uses it to conceal a copy of Sporting Life inside because she always has a pen...
Dear Constituents I have had a most hectic week so far and Anthea has now gone down with the flu, or she claims she has. Women have no staying power - the slightest little thing and they give up. I, on the other hand, stayed up late on Monday night reading about waste management and recycling in readiness for a top level meeting yesterday with DEFRA. Being DEFRA I knew to expect dreary, mix...
Dear Constituents I have had a most hectic week. Tomorrow I am due to make a public appearance at a Garden Fete and Jubilee tea party. It doesn't start until 2pm so I'll squeeze in an hour signing letters before a shortened "Meet your MP" session in the Red Lion. After that I'll work on a few words to say at the Fete or, most probably, dig out the speech I did last year if I can find...
Dear Constituents I have had a most hectic weekend. Saturday morning saw me having to get up at the crack of dawn to attend the local Farmers market where I was booked to stand behind a rickety decorators table covered with a cloth to support the RSPCA. Why these country people get up so early on a Saturday I don't know. Neither do I understand why some people prefer things covered in fur...
Dear Constituents I have had a most hectic week. As you know I have been a little under the weather after catching a chill. Anthea was the only one who gave me a Get Well card. I don't know what it is about modern society but people are so selfish and mean. It would only cost a few pounds to send a card. I have been suffering from a very debilitating bout of flu, but it's POETS day [Pis...
Dear Constituents I had a most hectic night and seem to have caught a cold. I got wet last night though it wasn't the rain. I got soaked by champagne. There were several parties going on at the pub including a group still celebrating Chelsea's victory over Munich. I expect I'll be OK this evening, so no need to send a Get Well cards as I'm sure I'll be up and running in no time at all. Any...
Dear constituents of mine, I have had a most hectic day. It took Anthea (my PA) and me three hours to remove the Black Sabbath ring tone from my Blackberry and upload something more pleasant on the ear. Anthea likes the classics so we managed to find a snippet from someone called Wagner. I had always thought Wagner was a sort of cider but Anthea told me he was a German composer of some reput...
Dear constituents of mine, I have had a most hectic weekend. You'll all be pleased to hear I made it to Barcelona and back although the BA flight out was delayed. What a nightmare. We really should bring it back into public ownership. The champagne was dreadful. I'll speak to Vince about it. I mentioned in my last piece that I was only there for a quick check on the state of the Euro and...
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