Alexander Rybak, 23 from Norway the winner of the Eurovision Song Contest 2009; who scored 600 points in the 'loosely' defined spectacle called a competition has revealed his love for sadistic fairytale midget Rumplestilskin. As a young boy in No...
It's that time of year again: Eurovision night. Countries across Europe vote for their neighbours' songs in a contest which was originally intended to restore post-war unity and further continental relations, but which has now descended into a farce of who can look the gayest. Ironically the supposedly homophobic Russians decide the winner - because of their numerous satellite states and their str...
Seven-times Eurovision winners Ireland have failed to qualify for the final of the Eurovision Song Contest in Moscow. The country's entry was not among the 10 successful nations in Thursday's semi-final, which included Denmark, Ukraine, Estonia and...
Generously fleshed Maltese singer Chiara Siracusa is ready to do battle with the rest of Europe with her soporific ballad What If We. The 32 year old Eurovision veteran will make her third attempt to bag as many douze points as possible at this ye...
Terry Wogan : "Hello Is that Sean?, It's Terry here, Calling from London, I'll get straight to the point, I have given up hosting the Eurovision Song Contest, everyone hates us, and the BBC think we should get a Hollywood Legend to provide a little Glitz and Glamour, are you interested?". Sean Connery : "You want me to sit, in a booth, listening to Boom-Bang-A Lang for Four Fucking Hours? Are y...
The Irish council of Saints and Eurovision winners issued a statement today in an attempt to address public concerns about the health of Ireland's Cinderella Saint, St Brigid. St Brigid has been one of Ireland's most successful Saints to date so f...
The United Kingdom entry for the Eurovision Song Contest has been rejected unless the lyrics are changed. It comes in the wake of Georgia being faced with the same issue when their lyrics were deemed to contain political content that was offensive t...
Georgia has been told to revise its Eurovision Song Contest Entry following protests from inside the Kremlin. The competition is due to take place in Moscow and worried officials are desperate not to upset the democratically elected and hugely popula...
Many American families tune in every year to catch the Eurovision Song Contest, that slightly quirky musical competition held in Europe. Well the 2009 contest is set to be the last, as the organizers have unveiled ambitious plans for a massive new w...
Months before the Eurovision Song Contest has even begun to aggravate the annual bowel symptoms, the losing UK entry is about to be penned by none other than Alfred Lord Tennyson. With the help of specialist sponsors Android Rubber, a Westminster...
Andrew Lloyd Webber, that creepy-looking bloke on the telly, has revealed that he is to write the UK entry for the Eurovision Song Contest, and is to help select someone to sing it from the millions of ordinary, unwashed, talentless individuals curre...
The Norwegian Minister for Culture, Olaf Smelzovfisch, has admitted today that his country, famed for a series of "nil points" song entries in the Eurovision Song Contest, originally took part in the event by mistake. He says: "Due to an error in...
Inspectors from the United Nations are to be asked to investigate allegations of vote-rigging amongst judges at the Eurovision Song Contest, it has been reported, after the United Kingdom failed to impress once again...
The results of the BBC's Worst 10 Eurovision Songs vote was announced today, and here is the list. * 'La la la la la', by Sweden's The Bjeardies. * 'Oompa Oompa, Ra Ra Ra', by Switzerland's Christine Dior. * 'Death To Turkish Cyprus', by Greece's Bubble and Squeaks. * 'Why Are We In A European Contest?', by Israel's The Mother-In-Laws. * 'Heil Heidi Heidi', by Germany's The Goosest...
The result of this years Eurovision Song Contest has been announced ahead of the competition being held, with the winning song from France gaining the highest number of 12 point votes.
London - (Sorry Ass Mess): Not content with blaming Spain's General Franco for stitching him up over the 1968 Eurovision Song Contest debacle Cliff Richard has now vented his ire on yet another fascist dicator for blatant favoritism the following...
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