After an hours-long standoff outside a hospital in Southwestern Ohio, it appears that the much beloved icon "Touchdown Jesus" has died from wounds inflicted by local police and sheriffs' deputies, as well as a National Guard unit that was called to t...
Following criticism that their last campaign was more of a travel agency advertisement than an indication of life in the armed forces, the latest advert now shows more realistic life. A spokesmen said, "We accept that we have been misrepresenting...
The world famous changing of the guard outside Buckingham Palace in London, England, was delayed on Sunday when the Royal House Cavalry forgot that British Summer Time was starting and had not reset their clocks. This event that takes place every...
Washington AC/DC - (Friendly Fire): "I blame aliens, faggots and gypsies," a retired general told a Senate Armed Services Committee's 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' policy tribunal today. "The Dutch army's overrun by them, it was a massacre," Gen John Sh...
Top military brass were last night rushing to defend the decision to close down 5 training bases and replace them with X-Boxes and the lastest version of "Call Of Duty". A spokesman dismissed claims this was further evidence of budget reductions i...
Defense Secretary Robert Gates testified before the Senate Armed Services Committee on Tuesday that it is time to end the sixteen-year-old "don't ask don't tell" policy (DADT) restricting the right of gays and lesbians to serve openly in the armed fo...
In a surprising development, the Chief Traffic Warden for Helmand Province in Afghanistan has issued a dictat that no additional helicopters may be parked in his territory. "I am sick of these arrogant pilots parking in disabled spaces when they h...
Gordon Brown has vehemently denied that the sponsorship deal with ToyMaster, Britain's largest chain of Toy Superstores, has put the gallant British Troops at risk in Afghanistan. Brigadier General Alex Dent has come out in support of his troops.
In yet another feeble effort to disguise the inevitable black hole in Great Britain's finances, Prime Minister Gordon Brown has announce the sale of land and property owned on behalf of the state by the army. A prime candidate for the first sale i...
In an new cost-cutting measure, Britain is to hand over the arming of British soldiers to foreign companies. Despite Britain having led military weapon technology and development since 256 BC when the head butt was introduced, the Cabinet has deci...
Britain's most decorated soldier has described the government's care of soldiers to be a disgrace. Brigadier General Sir Alvin Stardust, KCB OBE CBEEBES RAC MOT ABC LOOK OF LOVE SHOOT THAT POISON ARROW YMCA BBC ITV XTC said "These people have ser...
The Pentagon today unveiled it's newest initiative, an effort to gentrify it's troops dubbed "An Army of Nuns". Composed entirely of Catholic school sisters,the "Army of Nuns" are to be sent into conflicts where the enemy combatants are unruly or oth...
A leading figure in the Taliban in Afghanistan, is to make an apology for a racist remark he made to a British soldier he encountered in a struggle between the two in Helmand province last November. Abdul Hanif, of no fixed address, was in charge...
Prince Harry, the nation's favourite ginger-haired person, is being vaunted as a liberator this morning, after it was officially announced by the government that his racist comments about Pakis weren't racist at all, but just good, clean, wholesome f...
Hot on the heels of Prince Harry's racist video shame, in which he used such endearingly affectionate terms as 'Paki' and 'Raghead' come allegations that the army is a racist institution. Professor Finneas Fogg of Liverpool University (surely a co...
A Remembrance Service in the Midlands, to commemorate the dead of the First World War and other conflicts, had to be abandoned today when the massed ranks of worshippers forgot what they were supposed to be remembering. As most people will know, G...
In a shock and awe statement to the press this morning President Brush, accompanied at the podium by UK Sub-Prime Minister Gordon Brown, declared that the two countries had mutually agreed to disband their respective military forces forthwith. Cit...
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