The Queen and Prince Philip have moved home to Her Majesty's Royal Palace and Fortress 'The Tower of London'. The decision has been taken because of the recent riots in the capital. The plan now is for Buckingham Palace to become a new London museum.
London - Emergency austerity measures are being blamed today amid reports that Royal Freak Hospital managers have deliberately delayed HM's brain op in the hope she might either drop dead or go private. A congenital deformity in the frontal lobe a...
London - A video published on the Royal YouBoob! channel shows the Queen 'giving away' grand-daughter Kate in a 2000 Hellfire Club Chapel wedding ceremony. The groom's full-face ID is a bit obscure 'but looks awfully similar' to one of David Camer...
'Rubber Boots R Us' has completely sold out of wellington boots, affectionately referred to by many as 'wellies'. CEO of the largest Rubber Boot company in England, Willy 'Wellie' Gumshoe, tells of employees working 24/7 shipping 'wellies' from wa...
First it was Mila Kunis, then Justin Timberlake, each accepting a Marine's invitation to the Marine Corps Ball to be held in November in Greenville, North Carolina. Now it's been revealed that there's at least one other famous invitee who has acc...
Wiltshire - As the crumbling Murdoch Empire teeters on collapse a 200ft barley field etching opposite Stonehenge warns of more disaster on Friday's full moon. The magnificent Capricorn lunation appears on the latest crop circle, thought by many t...
Her hats have always been striking. Especially lately, when she's had her hats refashioned to include a slot for her iPad. Palace insiders say that the Queen has been quite impressed with the interest generated by granddaughter Princess Beatric...
London - The discovery of a dead person impersonating a major arcana Tarot card is baffling London cops. Reports that the number 12 card, the Hanged Man, was seen dangling from a redwood sequoia slap bang opposite Buck House were published this mo...
Edinburgh - A Stars and Stripes crop circle composed entirely of the reviled Christmas Day brassicas has sprung up outside the Queen's bedroom window in Scotland. Its appearance on Holyrood Palace's lush turds - er...turves! - came within minutes...
Wimbledon, England: After viewing the first set of Wimbledon's semi-finals between Rafael Nadal and Andrew Murray, the Queen leaned over to her gentleman in waiting seated to her left and was overheard to inquire: Why did Mr. Nadal repeatedly appeare...
Brian Camden of Salford has found a loop hole in succession law that could see the end of the Windsor dynasty. The upshot of this is that despite waiting for decades, Charles will never attain the throne. "I've been studying succession law," said...
London - The spectral face of 'God's Banker' Roberto Calvi has appeared in a photo portrait of the Queen and Duke of Edinburgh. The picture, commissioned by the National Portrait Gallery, shows the royals seated on one of Windsor Castle's hideousl...
London - The trusty retainer's 10-card spreads have seen her alright for nigh on 30 years. Now Monty Liverish-Gusset RVM (and bar) has been told to bugger orf amid predictions 'the Queen's about to drop dead'. His latest reading showed 'loads...
London - Eurozone gravytrain committee astrologers have laughed off Prince Philip's demands for an immediate 12bn euro ($17bn/£10bn) austerity handout. A Brussels statement issued today said he should join his wife Queen Elizabeth in a voluntary b...
Ascot - Online bookmaker RoyalMugPunter.con is still awaiting settlement of Derby Day IOUs on disastrous royal no-hoper Carlton House. House of Windsor losses are said to account for much of the £50 million that bookies raked in when French-traine...
Berkshire - A new twist beckons on the June 1st solar eclipse that fooled Queen Elizabeth into backing her third-rate Derby no-hoper Carlton House. Wednesday's eclipsed full moon is likely to do just as much damage to royal mug punters determined...
The Queen's famous royal wave is to be phased out. The announcement from Buckingham Palace by royal spokesman Sir Henry Brunzeln yesterday follows reports that the eighty-five year old Queen had found the chore particularly tiring when attending las...
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