Wayne Rooney has had a Brazillian - on his bonce! The follicley challenged England and Manchester United star has given up the Battle of the Barnet. Visits to London clinics to have his Loaf of Bread implanted with Orangutang's hair have led t...
Manchester United has announced that they have traded their entire roster to the United States for Barack Obama and the US Congress. "I just simply have had it with all the headaches that these prima donnas have given me", stated a relieved Sir...
Football supporters' clubs have expressed concern about the ease with which fans now switch club allegiances. 'It's changing the face of football,' lamented George "Kicker" Boot, the supporters' club chairman of, bottom of League Two, Stockport Co...
Out-of-contract striker Michael Owen has re-iterated his desire to offset his future medical bills by extending the amount of time he has spent in the luxuriant surroundings of Manchester United's treatment room by a further year. The 31-year-old,...
Despite bad weather, Man Utd fans braved the elements to cheer their heroes as the team took to the streets on an open topped bus and showed off the Premier League trophy. Half a million Red Devils supporters lined the streets of London as the bus...
Sir Alex Ferguson, still reeling from Man Utd's humiliating defeat at the hands of Barcelona in the Chamipons League Final, has thrown his hat into the ring for the Scotland manager's job, currently held by Craig Levein. Sir Alex, who was offered...
The Champions league final has been and gone for another year, but if certain factors had happened, it could have been a very different result. On Saturday Barcelona showed their true colours by outclassing a sorry looking Manchester United. On...
Politically incorrect TV pundit Gary Neville is back on the naughty step again. The outspoken ex footballer has called Barcelona "a team of midgets" The FA have received scores of complaints from short people with the hump. Spokesman Loft...
Wembley - Traces of a karmic impotence whoremoan may have done for Man U a postmortem on Saturday night's game has found. Random testing of players found depleted dopamine levels before the match consistent with 'getting an earful from the Missus'...
With only one pool reporter assigned to handle emerging news over the weekend, that man, who can not be named, found nothing of Pulitzer Prize note was worthy of reporting on, unless of course like the New York Times one could make something up.
Barcelona superstar, Lionel Messi - rated by many as the best player in the world - shrugged off suggestions that Barcelona's 3-1 Champions League Final victory over Manchester United had been a hard fought contest. The diminutive Argentinian geni...
European Champions League winner Lionel Messi took time out from Barcelona's celebrations last night to explain the relentless pace of the scintillating final at Wembley. Barca ran out worthy 3-1 winners with goals by Pedrito, Messi and Villa. Roo...
Manchester Utd were obliged to defer to the superiority of Barcelona in the European Champions League final at Wembley. Barca were worthy 3-1 winners in normal time with a brilliant display of running, passing, pressing... United just could not li...
It's the news that many opponents have been longing for, for years now, and sources are suggesting to Skoob Sports News that Sir Alex Ferguson is all set to call it a day. Usually, Sir Alex plays managerial mind games par excellence, is tactically...
The High Priestess of Voodoo has claimed a victory with her predictions for the Champions League Final. Her original prediction was based on a ritual she carried out with chicken bones and vegetables and Pearl Barley. She stirred the pot of chi...
The world of football is in a state of shock with the news that Argentinian superstar Lionel Messi has quit the game. Just minutes after helping Barcelona to win the Champions League final against Sir Alex Ferguson's Man Utd, the 23 year old maest...
The High Priestess of the Manchester Branch of The Voodoo Church has said that Manchester United are going to win their championship match tonight. She knows this because she had a premonition whilst carrying out a secret voodoo ritual last week.
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