It was confirmed today that popular singer Adele will indeed be headlining at the pop concert for H M the Queen's Diamond Jubilee celebrations from the roof of the Royal Palace. Specialist builders are being brought in to Buckingham Palace to stre...
Norfolk - The discovery of a partially boned, defurred and lightly marinated rat inside the Christmas dessert has stunned the Queen. The anonymouse-ly executed prank is the latest of HM's Yuletide mishaps which started last night when Phil the Gre...
London - A drop of hemlock in her bedtime Horlicks (sic) may be the preferred method to dispatch HM to the land of perpetual royal nod. Secret deals between Palace courtiers and No 10 have picked tomorrow's Festival of Lights ceremonies to finally...
London - Plans drawn up for Queen Elizabeth include being turned into a 5-carat diamond in a high-tech process that recycles crematorium ashes into full-on bling. The rock could then be set in some new Crown Jewellery in a bold move replacing all...
London - It's already been dubbed 'HMS Titanic' as security pros weigh up the 'witless toff' behind its design. The brainchild of the 7th Marquess of Salisbury the Queen's Diamond Jubilee barge 'Spirit of Tart Hell' was unveiled today despite anti...
London - At their 'Fourth Protocol' bunker at RAF Valley in Anglesey, Wales, Kate and Wills are having none of it, of course. Daft superstitions hold no fear for this royal gravy train branch line whose own wedding took place on the 66th annivers...
London - Someone who's never seen it nor scanned the revised codicils likened it to a 'Goodbye Cruel World' suicide note as rumors flooded the internet today. Fortunately some nifty cyberhacking moves have revealed the contents are linked directly...
As Portsmouth FC finds itself embroiled in yet another financial scandal, one fan has come up with an answer to the crisis. The future of the south coast club was once again thrown into doubt yesterday after owner Vladimir Antonov's company, CSI,...
London - Suspicion is falling on a delivery of 1,000 barrels of sweet light crude - er...embalming fluid! - that's usually pumped direct into royal rejuvenation pods ahead of the Queen's Christmas Message. Storage tanks deep below Palace kitchens...
Tehran - Iranian government rent-a-mob heavies have stormed the British embassy and desecrated the Queen's portrait before setting it alight. Witnesses have described how bodliy functions were used to make a statement in broad daylight about the Q...
London - Queens called 'Elizabeth' have a tragic track record of running up huge horse racing debts Parliament was told today. But Government 'shorthand' for the country's economic mess may be hiding the true extent of Queen Elizabeth II's gamblin...
London - Bang goes Wednesday's investiture ceremony that would have gonged-up former News of the World veterans with glitz and gilt (sic). News that Buckingham Palace's 250-strong brigade of footmen, butlers and assorted ermine fluffers will join...
London - HM Elizabeth, Queen of Mean, is splurging out a stonking 69p each on Christmas fare bulk orders for loyal Palace staff. Instead of the traditional extra week's wages employees 'are getting the bum's rush' with bottom-of-the-range Insanesb...
London - Three days of pomp and pageantry got off to a shaky start today at the Turkish presidential state visit opening ceremony. Representing the largely secular NATO ally the country's First Lady Mrs Hayrunnisa Gul stunned Brit officials with h...
It's taken sixty years of Great Britain having a female monarch, but after an act of parliament this morning, the country will officially be renamed to the United Queendom. "It's about time," said Prince Philip. "It confuses all those bloody forei...
London - Is 'one' suffering from terminal inflammatory vowel disease? That's today's top news poser and for once Oliver Letwin is not in the frame with the discovery of Queen Elizabeth's medical notes discarded in a St James's Park pooper-scooper...
London - Funded by 'donations' and run by a 'charitable trust' the proposed £80 million royal yacht would be armed with torpedoes, helicopter gunships, a miniature nuclear submarine and armed patrol guards. "How very quaint," Royal Navy admiral i...
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