Another 'Marchioness' disaster in the making as anti-terror cops slam 'sitting duck' Jubilee barge

Funny story written by queen mudder

Sunday, 11 December 2011

image for Another 'Marchioness' disaster in the making as anti-terror cops slam 'sitting duck' Jubilee barge
A £500K 'austerity' facelift will transform the barge

London - It's already been dubbed 'HMS Titanic' as security pros weigh up the 'witless toff' behind its design.

The brainchild of the 7th Marquess of Salisbury the Queen's Diamond Jubilee barge 'Spirit of Tart Hell' was unveiled today despite anti-terror cops' fears.

Now Diamond Jubilee critics say plans for it to sail down the Thames in June 2012 mimic the tragic last voyage of the pleasure cruiser Marchioness.

The London boat sank in an August 1989 fatal collision with the dredger Bowbelle killing 51 of 131 on board in what became one of the UK's worst peace time disasters.

Crash investigators later said that part of the Thames is hexed to the hilt 'and probably now haunted'.

Curiously enough today's flash announcement has also been criticised by royal think-tank the Hellfire Club.

"Some coincidence, that the wife of a Marquess is indeed called a Marchioness, eh"? Club astrologer Dame Poppy Seed-Head warned her usual weekend seance crowd today.

A spokesperson for the Marchioness of Salisbury - a 'Papist' born Hannah Stirling - said the coincidence was entirely irrelevant.

Her husband the Marquess has been on permanent Leave of Absence from the House of Lords since 1 November 2001 after being rumbled in a tricky 'non-dom' situation.

Apparently new regulations about declaring financial interests proved a step too far for M'Nobble Lord.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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