A drunken, rather largely built Lithuanien, has assaulted a female police officer with his "Dick" (penis in oxford English). The assault happened after police were called to an address where loud music, raucous behaviour and mega-boozing was takin...
There were ugly scenes at Heathrow airport as picketing British Airways trolley dollies clashed with police. The angry cabin crew, who were protesting about changes to pay and staffing levels, were furious when police turned up wearing the same co...
The police today issued a warning to UK householders to beware of bogus mothers operating criminal scams on unwitting citizens on Mothers Day. The warning, which was issued way too late to be of any practical use whatsoever was issued after a numb...
It seemed like a pretty ordinary kind of day for New York patrolman Ernie Frieze as he walked his 34th Street beat, but then as he approached the Empire State Building he was shocked to find himself confronted by a stray gorilla, which turned out to...
The Metropolitan Police have launched a new scheme in order to combat crime in a modern way. The traditional 'bobby on the beat' is a huge strain on resources and is now largely unworkable. It will be replaced with the new personal officer scheme.
A Police force is under attack over a pilot scheme in which it employed a private call centre to handle emergency 999 calls. Muntingtonshire Police was the first force to trial the cost-cutting scheme. Union chiefs are aghast at the results of...
Denver, Colorado has been called the most healthy city in the United States. It has more miles of bike trails, and the highest per capita sales of vitamins and nutritional supplements. Because residents are so concerned about their physical conditi...
Ray Gobling got a good spanking today according to the Poof Gazete for admitting smothering his lover. "I have no regrets" said Gobling. "I used a duck down pillow and he was going to die in any event." Inspector Ben Dover from the Wankershire...
Police in Glasgow have to be issued with tasers a gun which delivers a 50000 volt shock to disable criminals who resist arrest. It is now emerging however that due to a typing error a memo was issued saying that police would be issued with lasers.
Police in Scotland are blaming all crime on Buckfast. Buckfast tonic wine is made by the monks of Buckfast Abbey but they dispute that their wine is the cause off all crime in Scotland. Sergeant Roger MacPherson of Strathclyde Police said that whe...
The Son Newspaper learned today that police forces around the UK are to ban the old truncheon after receiving complaints they have been used as "dildo's". According to a secret memo the Chief Constable of Murkeyside Constabulary has banned the use...
A cheeky shoplifter's ten year thieving spree came to an abrupt end recently when he was arrested after being spotted by an eagle eyed shop assistant in Harold's Department Store in London's trendy Knightsbridge. Ava Gander, 29, an interfering cow...
Two cops called to a domestic incident Tuesday night rolled up in their patrol car to scenes of unspeakable horror at a house on the Trevelyan Estate. Waiting for the officers at the kerb was a woman, clearly distraught, agitated, and covered in m...
Police in Plymouth have been searching for the notorious bottom sniffer who has been frequenting Cornish supermarkets, ever since news broke of the man's peculiar practice, and today their efforts have paid off. A man was caught on CCTV paying 'un...
'Twas The Night Before Christmas 2009 'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house not a creature was stirring except me and my spouse All the presents were wrapped the stockings full of stuff my wife, she did sigh as she sat 'oh', I said, 'you think you have it rough' The children were all nestled, snug in their beds while I looked at the race track and doll house...
Dozens of people - wow, dozens in a country with over 60 million people, not propaganda this, whew - yes, DOZENS have been arrested in the United Kingdom after violent confrontations between police and anti-government protesters on the streets of the...
Local man, Fotheringay Fairbanks - the ex-public schoolboy who looks a little like the late Terry Thomas in his heyday, who wears a monocle, and talks like he's got a mouthfull of marbles was arrested again in the early hours of this morning. 'Lor...
Get Spoof News in your email inbox!
We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.
