A leafy west London suburb was recovering after another night of violence today. Riot police had a long night trying to bring order to Chiswick after angry revellers went berserk after a golf club disco. The trouble apparently began at Wyke Gre...
VIRGINIA BEACH, VA - Unemployed local Ed Stepson, 37, was kicked out of his parent's house today by his father, Gene Stepson, 63, and mother, Jean Stepson, 59. Ed rejected his parent's proposal by invoking the antiquated "squatter's rights," giv...
It was revealed by Haye Tyson, a City Council litter picker this morning to our ace, unpaid, senile reporter Inchcock Gobblenot, that the Nottingham City Police are to awarded a Special Preservation Order from the city. Mr Tyson went on to explain...
In one of her last acts before she was kidnapped by aliens and transported to The Newly Improved North Korea, Rebekaah Brooks fired all 23,453 journalists and staff at the News of the Sophist's Wurlitzer, in an ultimately vain, venal and in some case...
Thames valley police say they are closing the net on the so called Midsomer butcher. Over the last ten years the sleepy villages in the Midsomer area have been witness to at least one hundred brutal murders. Criminal activity on this scale is rare...
Police from the London Met shut down The Spoof! and declared it a crime scene or to be a more exact the scene of a crime in progress. The police received the following tip off from spoofter Alex99 who wrote an email to them in which he described h...
The Nottingham council have organised, conducted and financed a survey, on what the Nottingham police officers actually think about the cut-backs of 289 of their number from the Service in the Nottingham area, and how they will affect them personally...
Metropolitan Police are now using popular BBC documentary 'Luther' as a training video. In it, maverick (is there any other type?) detective John Luther, played by that bloke from The Wire is seen to solve any numbers of crimes and deaths, whilst...
The laws allowing burglars to do their dirty deeds is about to be radically changed according to "man of the people" Ken Clark. In fact he has told all innocent houseowners, scared grannies, home alone children, etc, "grab a bread knife as big as you...
A senior member of David Cameron's Tory constituency association has been found dead in a toilet at Glastonbury Festival, the police announced a curfew with immediate effect, no one is to leave Glastonbury. Of the 137,000 people attending the fest...
A hard-up police force has negotiated free bus travel to get its officers to their beats. Uniformed bobbies in Gloucestershire will be able to hop on Stagecoach vehicles in a bid to save petrol costs and wear and tear on patrol cars. Gloucester...
Police officers on The Isle of Wight are being sent on a strange training course that uses clips of singers Lady Gaga and Susan Boyle to explain issues surrounding equality and diversity to staff. Those in attendance also have to listen to a varie...
Greater Manchester Police: As one of Britain's largest Police forces, Greater Manchester Police will be shrinking by almost a quarter, as nearly 3,000 will lose their employment, forming part of a huge programme of reform aimed at saving £134million in the wake of the Government's spending review. Whilst this is going on, Greater Manchester Police now stands to pay out £30,000, after an employ...
TIJUANA, Mexico - Arnold Schwarzenegger traveled down to Tijuana, Mexico to purchase some stress pills which one can legally purchase as long as they are for your own consumption The former governor of California and presently one of its most famo...
EAST HAVEN, Connecticut - Well it was a sad day at the East Haven Police Department. The economic crisis had forced the department to make a budget cut and sad to say Paro the police dog had been earmarked to be laid off. The five-year-old German...
VENICE BEACH - One of the luckiest women in the entire world has once again pushed her unbelievable luck past the point of being ridiculous. Lindsay Lohan who was sentenced to serve 35 days under 'house arrest' in the cozy, comfort of her own home...
FLORENCE, Italy - The cast of The Jersey Shore seems to somehow manage to stay on the front pages of the Italian news media. The Daily Vino reports that one of the shows stars, Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi, the little bitty actress and a female companion were driving in Florence looking for a nice pizza parlor. As their Fiat Multipla approached an intersection Polizzi did not notice that there wa...
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