As evident in the breaking story of a Chester based funeral parlour, the conduct of these men was clearly gay. Although many of the men claim to have wives and girlfriends, leaked photographs from the parlour's Christmas party show the men prancing...
Just as the U.S. Government moves to divert Afghan poppy farmers from fueling the world cocaine supply by paying them to grow marijuana instead, a desperate cash strapped California has launched a pot growing and smoking phenomena of its own. A N...
Taking the Amsterdam notion to new highs, Cheech and Chong's New Pot Superstore opened to throngs of tokers and smokers today in California. The Oakland based Superstore sports over 15,000 square feet of fresh pot, hashish and a variety of hash oils...
London's drug dealers are 'gearing' up for the London Games by entering the tendering process for the lucrative contract to be the official narcotics supplier to the 2012 games. The games organiser, the ODA, today posted an electronic tender via...
The seven dwarves, who marched to their jobs in their diamond mine singing "High Ho, High Ho, it's off to work we go" have finally admitted to the identity of their "high ho." The woman, whose name has been kept secret by the group for several years...
SAN DIEGO, California - Researchers have long known that sex can be fun, that people who have sex often tend to live longer, healthier lives, and that sexually active men have healthier sperm. What researchers did not know is that the collection o...
According to figures released today by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), autism disorders have increased 57 percent over the last four years. The CDC's estimate of autism prevalence, which was obtained from analyzing child asse...
(Defecated News) Troubled star George Michael has had to deal with many addictions over his lifetime. These include addiction to: > Lying about his gayness > Only having one dance move > Being a Serial Fudge-Packer > Being shit...
Agents of the Intra Border Drug Agency have busted an adult chicken that was carrying 181.2 grams of pure highly refined Ecuadorian cocaine. The chicken, a Rhode Island Red named Rikki, belonging to a Mr. Mickey Maurice LaSetti was noticed by agen...
New evidence suggests children as young as three are being hollowed out by pushers and turned into 'mules', transporting vast quantities of drugs across South London, say Met police. Evidence from drug busts and the testimonies of gang members sho...
Reportedly under investigation for years, the Tooth Fairy was arrested and charged with the illegal manufacture and distribution of at least four separate drug substances. Creating a powdered base of finely ground children's teeth, "TF", as she is...
Washington, D.C. - Proud officials from the DEA announced that in a massive sweep, they arrested over 300 suspected members of La Familia, believed to be a drug cartel. The other cartels are still fully operational. What is odd about this, and wh...
Lincoln, Nebraska - It is now hour five, and suburban boy Phillip Reardon is starting to think that the drug dealer he met may not be coming back. It started when Phil and some of his friends decided that they wanted to try some weed, like his old...
I've often wondered what my life would be like if I opened a candy shoppe. Fucking awesome is how it would be! My candy shoppe would be in a small town on Main Street, USA. You know the kind I mean- the street is clean and free of potholes and speed bumps. Stately trees line the street and the sidewalks are free of litter and homeless people. My candy shoppe would be little bit seperated...
Washington, D.C. - President Obama, dimed out by the British Press, is now contemplating just how many soldiers to send to the black hole of teens and tax-dollars that is Kabul. At stake is one of the key goals of American foreign policy, the cont...
Red Rock, Wyoming - In this city, which unbeknownst to our government is the Meth Capital of America, the local citizens have passed a new ordinance banning the sale of gasoline. "We had to do it.", reported Mayor Johnstone of Red Rock, "The Meth...
SCARBOROUGH England - Royal Navy spokesperson Captain Eallyrey Aygey says the Navy here has seized £4,523 billion worth of cocaine. The Scarborough-based frigate HMS Igodda Puke confiscated more than 2,400,333 tonnes of the drug from a 10,000 ft A...
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