Cardiff, Wales - A royal Zimmer Frame totter-about came to an abrupt end today when Queen Elizabeth was declared 'brain dead' in one of her daft asymmetrical hats. Palace embalmers swooped in droves at the news, each bearing official mummificatio...
A book called "From Bags to Bitches" has rocketed to the Number One slot in America. Written by Alma Chancer it had originally sold only two hundred and nine copies; but after a lawyer working for Schillings inadvertently leaked on a Twitter account...
The Queen was briefly interviewed by the Spanish Inquisition during the Royal Vatican Inspection last week it was revealed. After arriving at The Vatican with twelve articulated trucks full of dirty money and 4 Transits full of bedraggled swans inten...
VATICAN CITY - The Queen of England, 87-year-old Queen Elizabeth II flew into Rome to pay a visit to Pope Francis. The pope who is 77, stated that he was thrilled at meeting her royal highness and she responded by saying that the feeling was mutua...
Ballybollox Castle, Berks - Bookies' odds of even money were hurriedly snapped up this weekend just as the UK government posted emergency briefs about the ageing Queen 'going down with the lurgi' after an earwig was found inside the royal's pants.
A swan feast was last night interrupted by Queen Elizabeth II who appeared to pardon and absolve Vladimir Putin of any wrongdoing. The topic of conversation apparently turned to the Ukraine crisis. The Ambassador to Russia, Bolshevic Kremlin had...
Prince Charles is said to have stopped lobbying influential ministers with letters after he mistook a bandstand in Buckingham Palace gardens for a guillotine. The bandstand, built by Robespierre Decking Specialists is for a new look "French Revolutio...
New York - An emergency session of the UN has condemned the misery of occupation inflicted on the British public by members of the House of Stalin. Security Council Resolution 9-11/666 cites Russian President Vladimir Putin's geriatric octogenaria...
London, UK - Intimate screenshots of Queen Elizardbirth's naked 44ff tits were intercepted during Her Majesty's naturist video chats with different sorts of naked men 'including the Archbishop of Westmonster' according to a report tonight. Americ...
Texas - "George, honey, did you accidentally paint an erect penis in that portrait of the royal pooch - uh, whassisname, Cameron?" worried ex-First Lady Laura Bush asked her husband over breakfast this morning. "Because the Queen has just returned...
The Cosmos - Filthy conditions in Aquarius, sign of the water bearer, are likely to climax on Valentine's Day when the Leo Fool Moon brings a deluge of karma on Elizabeth Windsor's preposterous 62-year reign. That's the upshot of an astrology conf...
MOSCOW - In a true gesture of friendship Russian President Putin has informed Queen Elizabeth that he would be willing to take the three Al-Qaeda terrorists that are sitting in a London Prison and send them to Siberia. Queen Elizabeth was thrilled...
LONDON, ENGLAND - Sources from Buckingham Palace announced that a flash mob appeared in Queen Elizabeth's bedchamber at the palace in the wee hours Monday night. Apparently, the Queen awoke to the sound of her corgis' loud barking, and was able...
Kate appears to have heard the order but was confused for a short period when she thought the Queen meant to strip! However, Kate Middleton's grandmother-in-law is demanding lower hemlines, not the dropping of the skirt. According to Britain's Ma...
LONDON - Scotland Yard has reported that they have uncovered a political plot by the infamous Taliban to kidnap Camilla Parker Bowles, wife of Prince Charles. Officer Higgins Higginbrook speaking to Chatsworth Wigginholt of The Ta Ta For Now News...
Quebec, Canada - Her Majesty has written to the Canadian High Commissioner, Sir Wally Bong-Chillum, suggesting he dispense with the 'High' part of his official title because it may have set a bad sample to runaway teenage pot fiend Justin Bieber.
Windsor, Berks - British cops have stepped up an online trawl for someone described as a royal mug punter who has made a million dollar wager about the daft old bird dropping dead 'pretty damn soon' . Deploying the services of a forensic psycholo...
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