Kansas City-KMBC reporter Karen 'Kavegirl' Kornaci was mauled by a plastic pellet fired by Royals benchwarmer Emil Brown. The concussive force which launched her through the air also knocked her out of her shoes and one sock. "If he th...
Inside sources said the 3-week chugalugfest slated for August was postponed amid shocking allegations that Billy Bob Thornton would not be invited to the party. Thornton, who suffers from fierce nosebleeds and motion sickness, single-handedly put sp...
Hip-hop sensation Snoop Doggy Dog took time off from his court battle against Snoopy the dog to say that his friend is innocent of all dog fighting charges. "The entire Dog Pound is behind him." Greg 'the sniffle' Biffle said, &qu...
DAYTONA - The trophy that sat on the mantle in the log cabin of the Trickster was forcibly removed by NASCAR officials yesterday. Ricky, who won the race by a margin of 55 laps, was disqualified for driving the last ten laps in reverse. A pit-crew...
Wealthy and powerful newspaper mogul Mark Lowton was indicted yesterday by Attorney General Alberto Gonzales. Mark was represented by former O.J. lawyer Robert Shapiro.
Al Gore claims that embattled U.S. Attorney General Alberto Gonzales was replaced with a clone by aliens. Gonzales, who at one time worked as a stage hand on American Idol, is said to love animals. Anna Nicole Smith was rumored to have compared his compassionate qualities to Barack Obama. The BBC's Big Brother reality TV show featured a set of breasts that in fact turned out to be die-cast m...
Luscious Lindsay was busted drag racing in Santa Monica early Tuesday morning after leaving a Bondage S&M club with some friends. The young and busty actress had a sudden feeling for the flavor of a Pringles and they all decided to go to the Kwik E...
Iron Permanent Press--Scoop Johnson Barney the Scott Terrier was returned to the President today after spending nearly two days in an insurgent stronghold in the foothills of Afghanistan. The poor pooch was left behind after the pre...
The winner of the International Championship Hall of Fame Dishwashing Contest has accepted an offer from government officials to train the next Olympic team. You might remember Tricky from the French Dishwashing Open where he overcame tremendous odd...
A 98 year old cannibal woman from the Chupacabra tribe has finally passed on. After many years in the mountains of Kilamanjaro, the woman's teeth had become useless because of chewing gum with too much sugar.
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