Kansas City-KMBC reporter Karen 'Kavegirl' Kornaci was mauled by a plastic pellet fired by Royals benchwarmer Emil Brown. The concussive force which launched her through the air also knocked her out of her shoes and one sock. "If he thought he wasn't getting much playing time now, well, he's really not going to be happy…" said team manager Buddy 'You Can Ring My' Bell.
Brown, who is a reported member of The Little Rascal's He-Man Woman Haters Club, claimed they were just messing around, driving in a four passenger golf cart at break-neck speeds taking pock-shots at whatever they saw. Police confiscated a 2 plastic 9mm, a plastic 357 Magnum, a plastic AK-47, a pack of Bubbalicious and several cans of Silly String.
"The pellets are rubber, not plastic," Brown said as he was taken away for questioning. But a reporter for The Tricky Times, Scoop Johnson, said he uncovered something more sinister. "Apparently, Fat Tony [Soprano] gave the order for all the mosquitos in the park to get whacked. Tony was tired of being bit. There was no way of knowing that an insect would have been flying so close to a person. It was just a terrible accident."
Kornaci, whose family controls one of Kansas City's 5 boroughs, initially saw stars when Emil busted a cap in her a**, but now that she's recovered, she only $ee$ green. Osama Bin Laden released a statement saying they had nothing to do with the incident but quickly admitted that it would be harder for her to see illegal aliens crossing the border and that could be a good thing for the Taliban.
