"I apologize for offending our native Americans. It was never the intention of the Washington football team to discredit or abuse these great people but in realizing that the inference exists I have decided to change the name of the Redskins"...
Comcast the communications giant will be debuting the time channel on its generic package featuring a collection of globally placed reporters that will be constantly updating times from every location on the planet. Some will be embedded with tr...
Aware of the inevitable outcome of the election of November the 8th, Donald Trump has decided to become the King of Texas. "Not only will we build a wall on our southern border" he told a rapt crowd at Arlington stadium "but we will also build one a...
"I always had four bars and a clear line" said a distraught Patsy Lang standing in front of what was a cell tower that stood on her land for four years until it mysteriously disappeared "now I got no bars and I had to buy me a five-thousand-foot exte...
Referee Gordon Lamana threw a wicked game deciding block on Giants defensive back Landon Collins springing Packers wide receiver Jordi Nelson into a clear path to the end zone and the winning score in Monday night's contest. "It was not inten...
Representatives for the National convenience store NaNa spread throughout the Logan high school lunch room in their baseball caps and khaki trousers, name tags pinned prominently on their black polo shirt. "We are looking for slackers and sto...
I caught up with Geraldo five minutes before air time of his now famous "Geraldo opens Mr. Howell's luggage" special that rocked the world. "Here on this unchartered Island not too far from Tahiti where I was vacationing with my wife, was where we docked our boat and decided to snorkel" he told me in an exclusive pre show interview. "I noticed a handle sticking above the sandy beach so...
Dr. Ralph Suderman, dean of studies at Admiral university's school of Anal Research has been following a group of 20 men and women who suffer from the same mysterious and socially paralyzing ailment. These people from all over the world and all walks of life have what doctor Suderman has named ISBD, or Infinite Silent But Deadly syndrome. "24, 7, 365, these subjects are trickling a low pr...
"Well, I bought the painting a couple of weeks ago at a garage sale over on Glen drive" explained 56-year-old Martha Flanagan amidst the throng of neighbors and pilgrims in front of her home on Kenmore rd. "I thought it was a nice colorful painting...
Due to the concussions suffered by his third string quarterback and his emergency replacement, Bill Belichick, head coach of the New England Patriots will play that position for his team next Sunday when they host the Buffalo Bills. "it's a n...
A near maniacal Donald Trump in front of a packed house at the convention of the National Association of This and That defended his voters in the wake of Hilary's 'deplorable' comment by going on the offensive. "I have waited patiently while...
"What I really meant" said a smiling Mrs. Clinton when asked to explain her recent disparaging comment about Trump voters "is half of each individual voting for Trump is deplorable, I never insinuated that half of the total of Trump voters were entir...
Satch Farley of Binghamton has taken out a full page add in the Binghamton Post seeking employment in the computer industry on the basis that he is good with computers. Mr. Farley, a 26-year-old landscaper living in his parents' basement lis...
"I have come to the realization, " said I to a packed conference room in the left wing of my mind, "that since I have embarked on this road of hard-nosed reporting for The Spoof that there are no bonus checks arriving in the mail." I wiped m...
The new Fallmark flagship store in Times Square opened today with a surprise new line. The "You're Welcome" card is the fruition of the imagination of veteran card creator Patty McCarthy. "It's a thoughtful way to convey feelings of acceptanc...
Service on the IRT 1 line was disrupted for nearly an hour today as police and their k9 partners searched for an elusive figure accused of yelling "Yahtzee" with no evidence of actually playing the game while traveling on a northbound Broadway local.
Last night at the Meadowlands, Bruce Springsteen shattered his own record by going on a 47-minute monologue segueing beautifully between a somber ATLANTIC CITY and a raucous Rosalita. The crowd used this time to use the bathroom, text their...
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