News is breaking that the Health Secretary has been arrested after an undercover operation by Staffordshire Police working with the Met and Interpol. It has been alleged that recent stories regarding horsemeat in the foodchain and falling asteroids h...
Supermarket giant Tesdabury's has become the latest store caught up in the horse meat scandal after allegations that horse meat has been found in its "Cannibal Range" of ready meals. A clearly shaken company spokesperson Sue Perior admitted "This...
After it was announced this week that luxury supermarket chain Waitrose had joined the latest trend for 'posessed foods', with pork masquerading as beef, Sparks & Mencer have risen to the challenge. Their new ' Chimæra' (or Chimera) range of p...
Hot on the heels of the news of horse in beef burgers, horse in crab sticks, horse in sore throat lozenges and horse in lasagne, it now turns out that there are traces of David Cameron in Rebekah Brooks. "We were as shocked as anybody," said lead...
Former News International chief executive Rebekah Brooks is to be questioned by the police over allegations that she disposed of a former police horse that she borrowed in some beef burgers. The Horse which was ridden by David Cameron while in the...
A horse has been found with 60% beef in it. Which technically makes it a cow but the animal is very confused. It has raised concern over how many other horses are infact cows and therefore potentially contaminating our favourite foods. Consume...
Tesco, Findus, Aldi and other food suppliers named in the recent horsemeat revelations, today formed a consortium to try to re-establish confidence in their beef products, and to put the meat-contamination scandal behind them. 'We do not wish to b...
London - The horse flesh contamination scandal saw a new twist today as the EU ordered a raft of emergency foodstuff bans. From midnight tonight saddle of lamb is banned from all sales outlets along with 'polluted' items on greengrocery shelves.
A 50-year-old man was admitted to hospital after eating a leather thong in a vain attempt to cure stomach ache. Vegetarian Albert Tewsum, from Gateshead, had been suffering with severe tummy trouble for several days, after unknowingly eating some...
The recent "horseburger scandal" "sweep-steaking" Britain is not quite as bad as it seems because hamburgers make people fat and horsemeat burgers make them thin. Nutritional experts have discovered that males and females who have been eating the...
Chicago IL: Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel has to deal with a high murder rate in the inner-city, a school teacher strike and now illegal horse meat restaurants. Horse meat slaughter (including government inspection) is again legal in the USA as of N...
London - 'Kazy Karta' chipolatas made from surplus Kazakh thoroughbreds will be beefing up the country's shot put team's Olympic chances according to an announcement today. The Astana delicacy has an awesome reputation among the nation's gastropod...
Taco Gong President Jose Jimenez on Tuesday rejected claims made in a lawsuit that the ground horse a--holes in their tacos, burritos, Mountain Dew Baja Blast soda, and other products is not "all beef". "Esta es la carne. Toda," said Jimenez. I me...
My kid is having a birthday coming up soon, and there'll be a lot of children around, so I figured I'd better get the pony she wants. I suspect there'll be, say, about 20 or 30 kids, and I thought a pony would fit the bill nicely. Please let me know what you feed your pony - hay, grain, whatever, so I know what to expect. Also, let me know if the pony gets a lot of exercise, or if it j...
Manchester United, the Premier League Chumpions after failing to record a single victory in any of their first three games this season, have made a surprising swoop into the transfer market to replace Gabriel...
London - (Ass Mess): Triple Michelin starred chef Gordon Ramsey is urging the English restaurant-going chattering classes to "start eating whoresmeat" like their French cousins over the Channel.
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