WASHINGTON D.C. - As Vladimir Putin defies Washington's wishes, millions of Americans are left asking questions that would never be asked in other first-world countries. Spare yourself some embarrassment and commit this info to memory. Also, change the subject if someone brings all this up in conversation. 1) Is it "The Ukraine" or "Ukraine"? Short answer: Who the hell cares? Long answer: I...
Crimea - Russia's seizure of Crimean territorial waters' oil and gas deposits may be behind the sudden appearance of heavy crude tears spouting from the sacred portrait according to reports from Kiev today. The famous 12th century religious paint...
Crimea agreed Monday to join Russia. The vote ballot stated: Russia ___ or else ___! Now the Ukraine is afraid Russia will come there next and demand a similar vote. The Crimea is a key shipping area that the Russians wanted. All that the Uk...
(New York) - Russia called for an emergency meeting of the U.N. Security Counsel over the weekend to discuss what Russia is calling "the unprovoked, illegal and unwarranted occupation of Oxygen by Hydrogen forces." According to Russia's Permanent...
Empire and consistency don't always mix when Empire is particularly annoyed at being one-upped. This insight was delivered from somebody anonymous in an anonymous Washington office commenting on current developments in Ukraine. Very few murmurs...
KIEV (Reuters) - Sunday's vote in Ukraine's Crimea is being officially billed as a chance for the peninsula's peoples to decide fairly and freely their future - but in fact there is no room on the ballot paper for voting "Nyet" to control by Russia.
Buenos Aires - Daft Argie wackjob Cristina de Kirchner has come out on Vladimir Putin's side by backing the 'return' of the Crimean Peninsula to the Russians. In a televised address this morning President Kirchner showed just how much recent brain...
Russian Supremo, Vladimir Putin is retaliating against the U.K.s Chav poplulation. Thought to be in response to William Hague's devastating "debating society" dialogue, he screamed, "I will punish every single Chav in the U.K. I will sabotage scra...
Sergei Aksyonov, the leader of the Crimea effort to secede from the Urkraine, who was installed as prime minister of Crimea after armed men seized the Parliament building last week, has had several conversations with Governor Rick Perry of Texas.
Intelligence chiefs are said to be coming under heavy criticism for not providing timely warning of what was clearly a full-scale invasion in the Crimea. The head of the NSA is off the record in saying he was 'really quite irked' at the insensitivity...
As it looks like there may be a diplomatic solution to Russia's incursion into the Ukraine, Presidents Obama and Putin have had long telephone conversations trying to resolve the matter. Now, it turns out, that they have become great friends. Aid...
Black Sea - Fifty billion dollarsworth of Russian naval hardware is a sitting duck in the Black Sea waters off Crimea NATO seismologists warned today as the region readied for the start of the 2014 earthquake season. A repeat performance of the t...
Members of Pussy Riot, particularly Nadezhda Tolokonnikova and Maria Alyokhina, were brutally whipped, sprayed and beaten by Cossacks representing Russian President Valdimir Putin at the Sochi Olympic Games. These same Cossacks have been rewarded...
Crimea- Through a Top Secret Ops mission, U.S. Special Forces struck a blow for Ukrainian sovereignty by landing a superbly-equipped bikini unit, composed of current and past Sports Illustrated models. It took literally no time at all for the Russ...
The latest diplomatic effort from the US on the crisis in Ukraine will feature a stage performance in Kiev. This effort will be dedicated to the new government forming there under the leadership of Mr. Yatsenyuk (aka "Yats"). The US has catego...
Vladimir (the Vampire ) Putin, still glowing from the success of the Winter Olympic Games in Sochi, Russia, has suddenly had to show his darker side of the Force by invading and taking over the Crimea, a vital peninsula of his supposed ally Ukraine.
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