A 32 year old Norwegian man has been arrested following a bomb blast in Oslo, and a spree killing episode on the holiday island of Utoya which has left at least 92 people dead. Norwegians are understandably shocked and horrified by the events which took place in their country, a nation renowned for its tolerance and high standards. Early reports indicate that the man who planted the bomb and...
al-Qaeda fanatics in Britain are being trained how to avoid detection. They are being trained to act 'gay'. A new terror training manual instructs Islamic extremists, if approached by women, to pretend they are gay. The very fact that some of th...
You have probably seen photos, television programs and cinema reels about the stuff that happened yesterday , but until you experience it for yourself you won't really understand what it's like. Nothing on earth matches the sensations you will experience, the thrill of breathing and moving under the direct threat of being blown to bits in a market. Here at Qaeda Tours we will guide you and give yo...
Dear Mr. President, It has recently come to my attention that the Taliban may be training monkeys to attack U.S. soldiers. Everybody's talking about it. Even CNN has joined in the discussion. Now, I know what you're thinking - "Em, you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen." But my traffic-stopping good looks must make like a prom date and take a backseat for now. What we need to fo...
Moscow authorities are to install public lavatories that can withstand a terrorist bomb blast. The move follows a spate of Islamist terrorist attacks on the Russian capital in recent years. And in a city where winter temperatures can fall to we...
Watford - Terrified bank customers dialled 999 this morning amid fears a 12-inch cucumber strapped to a man's leg was 'an improvised explosive device'. Police were taking no chances amid FO advice that the deadly vegetable is being used by Al Qaed...
Al-Qaeda, the group responsible for clogging up the internet with grainy videos of bearded men in dresses waving AK-47's about the place, whilst chanting and calling for the West to be brought to it's knees, has finally announced a replacement for Os...
CCN (Crazy Cal News) MAGNOLIA, TEXAS - "The Tribune," the Magnolia newspaper, reports that the first grader brought a loaded gun to Ellisor Elementary on May 9th. The gun father said the 9mm Beretta wasn't loaded when the student got home. The studen...
As reported, Representative Peter King (R-NY) has begun hearings on the radicalization of the Muslim community in the U.S. His congressional committee has decided to extend its mandate to cover certain business groups in the U.S., including the 7-11...
Now that the former head of global al Qaeda has become fish bait, leaders of the various al Qaeda families are jetting to the Sistine Cave in the wilds of Pakistan to elect the new Mr. Big Laden. Once they enter the Cave, al Qaeda soldiers will r...
Dizzy World, Inc, LLC, the world wide entertainment conglomerate announced it has reached agreement with Dubai World to add to their popular sea side attraction by constructing a real live Seal encounter pavilion featuring Navy Seals practicing hunt...
Greater Manchester Police this evening revealed how extensive surveillance had brought down a gang intent on bringing terror to Manchester Airport. Dawn raids in Salford, Wythenshawe and Stretford resulted in the arrests of six individuals believe...
A defector from MI5, Clifford Blacksmire has told New Age magazine "Lies and Damned Lies" that Osama Bin Laden was not killed as stated by U.S. President Barack Obama and which is currently believed by most people on the planet. It appears the Is...
UPS General Manager Mr. Thomas Jefferson and FedEx General Manager Mr. Abraham Lincoln have filed "Missing Equipment" reports with the F.B.I. after the death of Osama Bin Laden led to rumors of a possible counter-attack against the United States.
Norwegian punk rockers "Jerry and the Jihadists" have once again proven themselves as grandmasters of bad taste following the release of their latest song "I was Osama's Love Child". Taken as a slur against their good name, the 17 wives, 167 child...
Marine biologists have expressed deep concern over terror chief Osama Bin Laden being buried at sea. The body of the Al Qaeda leader was dumped in the Arabian Sea last week, after he was shot in the head by the A-Team. But since the burial, mem...
What did Osama bin Laden do when he heard the sound of helicopters? He called 911 of course. The White House has released a transcript of the terrorist's last call: Bin Laden Hello 9-1-1. I have an emergency to report. Someone is flying helicopters too close to my headquart... too close to my house. Operator That sounds like a noise complaint, sir. You need to hang up and call your local...
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