Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, in an apparent effort to confuse America's enemies and allies abroad, not to mention Americans at home, has reversed himself yet again.
This November many Americans are faced with a difficult decision. I hope this helps anyone that is confused by all of the political bickering.
Federal Election Commission Chairman Bradley Smith explained to reporters today that an individual vote is effectively meaningless. "Look, there are 300 million Americans out there," Smith said, "You can't be so naive you think YO...
ESPN, Greece, August 2004. An Olympic pick-up team from Nepal humiliated the U.S. Olympic basketball team yesterday, giving the Americans their second straight exhibition loss in a week. In a lopsided 129 to 15 score, the U.S. team revealed...
One of the pillars upon which pre-emptive strikes into so-called hotspots was being based, is the desire to introduce democracy into states which had previously toiled under dictators. If we leave aside for this exercise, the fact that many British and Americans believe that their governments misrepresented the facts to them in order to obtain permission to launch the offensive, many more b...
WASHINGTON - Tom Ridge, Secretary of Homeland Security, unveiled a sweeping new plan for Americans to remain safe in their homes. Chief among the points in the plan is an inflatable biosuit that Ridge says can protect ordinary Americans in most situ...
President George W. Bush, after declining to address the NAACP National Convention, has apparently decided that he has to talk to some African Americans somewhere before the election in November, so he will speak to the National Urban League in Detro...
A new poll finds most Americans are against a Gay Marriage Ban Amendment while at the same time are against homosexuals marrying. One of the poll respondents, Festus P. Hymen of Billings, Montana said, " Well shit, of course I wish I had a gay marria...
"If he hadn't run, I would be in office and we wouldn't have any of the problems we have now," said Independent Presidential candidate Ralph Nader in a press conference today. "But no, instead he had to run and 48% of Americans...
Attention Americans! The Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) has learned, that a known terrorist Al Zarqawi is in the United States. They have re...
After almost a week of ongoing funereal festivities, recent polls show that Americans are beginning to feel happier now that former President Ronald Reagan has finally been laid to rest.
Washington, DC-- Under immense market pressure, oil hit $42 a barrel today, and all Americans began feeling the pinch. "Do you want fries with that?" has been replaced with "Do you your fries cooked, nominal extra charge?"...
Washington DC -- Vice President, Executive Branch Czar, and acting Superintendent of Arlington National Cemetery Dick Cheney announced today that that since there are no longer any Americans employed in the armed services, the cemetery will be close...
Only 1 in 7 Americans respond honestly to survey questions, according to a recent CNN/Gallup survey. Titled Telling the Truth: American Style, the study is believed to be the first of its kind.
A new Zogby Research poll released Sunday night shows that by a 55 - 45 margin Americans prefer a laughing hyena to John Kerry, but that by a 65 - 35 margin those same voters prefer Kerry to Bush. When matched against a laughing hyena the hy...
Noted actor, sportsman and conservative activist Charlton Heston, who has previously announced that he is battling Alzheimer's disease announced during a talk given to the Altedena, California chapter of Young Americans for Guns on 1 May 2004 that he...
North Korea has broken its official silence on a massive blast at a train station stating that "imperialist, yankee carelessness" caused the explosion.
Get Spoof News in your email inbox!