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Funny story: Donald Rumsfeld Explains All and Nothing

Donald Rumsfeld Explains All and Nothing

Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, in an apparent effort to confuse America's enemies and allies abroad, not to mention Americans at home, has reversed himself yet again.

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Funny story: Who do I vote for?

Who do I vote for?

This November many Americans are faced with a difficult decision. I hope this helps anyone that is confused by all of the political bickering.

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Funny story: Voting Meaningless, Says FEC Chairman

Voting Meaningless, Says FEC Chairman

Federal Election Commission Chairman Bradley Smith explained to reporters today that an individual vote is effectively meaningless. "Look, there are 300 million Americans out there," Smith said, "You can't be so naive you think YO...

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Funny story: U.S. Olympic Hoopsters Loose to Nepal

U.S. Olympic Hoopsters Loose to Nepal

ESPN, Greece, August 2004. An Olympic pick-up team from Nepal humiliated the U.S. Olympic basketball team yesterday, giving the Americans their second straight exhibition loss in a week. In a lopsided 129 to 15 score, the U.S. team revealed...

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Funny story: Democracy Is Not The Cure

Democracy Is Not The Cure

One of the pillars upon which pre-emptive strikes into so-called hotspots was being based, is the desire to introduce democracy into states which had previously toiled under dictators. If we leave aside for this exercise, the fact that many British and Americans believe that their governments misrepresented the facts to them in order to obtain permission to launch the offensive, many more b...

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Funny story: Ridge Unveils New Home Safety Plan

Ridge Unveils New Home Safety Plan

WASHINGTON - Tom Ridge, Secretary of Homeland Security, unveiled a sweeping new plan for Americans to remain safe in their homes. Chief among the points in the plan is an inflatable biosuit that Ridge says can protect ordinary Americans in most situ...

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Funny story: NAACP Spooks George W. Bush: Says it's NUL Instead

NAACP Spooks George W. Bush: Says it's NUL Instead

President George W. Bush, after declining to address the NAACP National Convention, has apparently decided that he has to talk to some African Americans somewhere before the election in November, so he will speak to the National Urban League in Detro...

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Funny story: Gay Marriage Ban has Married People Up in Arms

Gay Marriage Ban has Married People Up in Arms

A new poll finds most Americans are against a Gay Marriage Ban Amendment while at the same time are against homosexuals marrying. One of the poll respondents, Festus P. Hymen of Billings, Montana said, " Well shit, of course I wish I had a gay marria...

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Funny story: Nader Blames Gore for His 2000 Election Loss

Nader Blames Gore for His 2000 Election Loss

"If he hadn't run, I would be in office and we wouldn't have any of the problems we have now," said Independent Presidential candidate Ralph Nader in a press conference today. "But no, instead he had to run and 48% of Americans...

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Funny story: Attention Americans! Terrorist sighting!

Attention Americans! Terrorist sighting!

Attention Americans! The Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) has learned, that a known terrorist Al Zarqawi is in the United States. They have re...

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Funny story: Polls show national depression lifting as Ronald Reagan is finally buried

Polls show national depression lifting as Ronald Reagan is finally buried

After almost a week of ongoing funereal festivities, recent polls show that Americans are beginning to feel happier now that former President Ronald Reagan has finally been laid to rest.

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Funny story: Oil hits $42 a barrel

Oil hits $42 a barrel

Washington, DC-- Under immense market pressure, oil hit $42 a barrel today, and all Americans began feeling the pinch. "Do you want fries with that?" has been replaced with "Do you your fries cooked, nominal extra charge?"...

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Funny story: Arlington Cemetery to be renovated as Iraqi Freedom National Theme Park

Arlington Cemetery to be renovated as Iraqi Freedom National Theme Park

Washington DC -- Vice President, Executive Branch Czar, and acting Superintendent of Arlington National Cemetery Dick Cheney announced today that that since there are no longer any Americans employed in the armed services, the cemetery will be close...

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Funny story: Most Poll Results Unreliable, Poll Finds

Most Poll Results Unreliable, Poll Finds

Only 1 in 7 Americans respond honestly to survey questions, according to a recent CNN/Gallup survey. Titled Telling the Truth: American Style, the study is believed to be the first of its kind.

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Funny story: Americans Prefer Laughing Hyena to Kerry; Bush

Americans Prefer Laughing Hyena to Kerry; Bush

A new Zogby Research poll released Sunday night shows that by a 55 - 45 margin Americans prefer a laughing hyena to John Kerry, but that by a 65 - 35 margin those same voters prefer Kerry to Bush. When matched against a laughing hyena the hy...

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Funny story: Charlton Heston Gives Goodbye Speech

Charlton Heston Gives Goodbye Speech

Noted actor, sportsman and conservative activist Charlton Heston, who has previously announced that he is battling Alzheimer's disease announced during a talk given to the Altedena, California chapter of Young Americans for Guns on 1 May 2004 that he...

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Funny story: Mean Ol' Americans Blamed For North Korean Blast

Mean Ol' Americans Blamed For North Korean Blast

North Korea has broken its official silence on a massive blast at a train station stating that "imperialist, yankee carelessness" caused the explosion.

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