Local man and pork pie hat promoter extraordinaire Martin Shuttlecock, a dashingly handsome 27 year old love magnet, of Brokedown Mansions, Portsmouth was a broken man this morning. It isn't, after all, every day that a man finds a dead gazebo in...
Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, a pork pie hat wearing ignoramus for the most part was left hopping mad Saturday as he settled down with long suffering wife, Anne, and a case of yellow Belgian lemonade to watch the live X-Factor show. With a theme...
TRAINS I love trains. I've caught loads of them in my time. Been around them a lot. See, my dad was a railway engineer, who didn't spend much time at home because he preferred trains. They were his life, trains. As he worked on the railways, I used to go and meet him at his work sometimes. Take my mates with me and we'd play on the trains until he knocked off for the day. Steam trains the...
Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, of Brokeback Mansions, Portsmouth today revealed how he had become desperate after being plagued by phone calls from telemarketers based on the Indian sub-continent. An irate Shuttlecock described how telemarketing c...
Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, today was forced to endure the popular British Broadcasting Corporation's television presentation of 'Masterchef - The Professionals' on his 52" HD TV. Shuttlecock, who wasn't keen on his wife's programme selection i...
Local man, Martin Shuttlecock got the fright of his life today when in a moment of abject boredom he decided to pop up the local shops for a few dozen cans of strong Belgian lager to see him through Halloween, and which hopefully will last him beyond...
Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, was left bewitched, buggered and bewildered in the early hours of Saturday morning, as he was relaxing with a few glasses of amber Belgian lemonade as a rainstorm raged outside the Shuttlecock residence. Shuttlecock...
Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, went out this evening to attend an historic get together with two fellow contributors to popular satirical website TheSpoof.com in a Portsmouth pub, but nothing really newsworthy happened. The trio, comprising Shuttl...
Local man, Martin Shuttlecock found himself coping with a deeply distressing set of circumstances last night, and today is relaxing quietly at home, expecting to make a complete recovery, and grateful to have emerged from his ordeal relatively unscat...
Local man, Martin Shuttlecock - a dashingly handsome 29 year old billionaire philanthropist who made his fortune out of his pork pie hat empire (not verified - we only have his word for it, and sources say he's a compulsive liar) today revealed to Sk...
Despite universal silence on the matter, rumours are circulating that a former Pirate, butcher, and shite cook has scored the nation's biggest lotto payoff since Wayne Rooney & David Beckham made off with everything but the crown jewels in their...
After being constantly bombarded with internet advertisements featuring sexually alluring Russian girls who were apparently looking for him, local man, Martin Shuttlecock this morning bit the bullet and sent off an e-mail to a sexy Russian temptress...
Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, a dashingly handsome and outrageously charming 25 year old sex God (ignore that bit - it simply isn't true. He's a right boring old fart really) was today upstaged as he went to buy beer up the local supermarket in orde...
Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, a dashingly handsome 27 year old superstud (that part's pure fiction - ed) today expressed his dissatisfaction with an advert on his favourite website, TheSpoof.com Shuttlecock bombarded site administrator Mark Lowto...
Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, was cock-a-hoop today as he succeeded in penning his 2,000th Spoof News story on popular satirical website TheSpoof.com. Indeed, so chuffed is Shuttlecock that he is contemplating donning his long leather coat and pork...
Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, even grumpier than usual following a visit to the dentist which he described as 'painful' today added his weight (or lack of) to the X-Factor corruption scandal, although he did fall short of challenging 5'3" sex Goddes...
Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, found himself in a serious state of perturbation last night as he settled down to watch a little TV before retiring to bed. Shuttlecock unwittingly became aware of a TV show entitled, 'A Shot At Love With Tila Tequil...
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