Groom Lake, Nevada - A water-world with a 'thick and steamy' atmosphere was nicknamed Planet Cannabis at NASA HQ today. Reports have described it as a gigantic organic hydroponic ecosystem orbiting a red dwarf in the Ophiuchus constellation of The...
It had not been a good decade or so, for the Royal Family since Princess Diana had been murdered. Their popularity wasn't what it was and the Queen was concerned about their steady decline and the loss of public funding. After all she had three lazy and useless sons to care for. She had been thinking it over and over for a solution to this problem for months, without any success. Then one eve...
Los Angeles - Concerned fans jammed the switchboard at her PR agency's offices today asking after hapless Demi... and demanding the phone number of her supplier. Emergency hospitalization saw the 49 year-old actress 'pull a Clinton' as Matanusk...
Following press releases yesterday from the American Medical Foundation regarding the test treatment of depression with hallucinogenic mushrooms, patients are claiming that they are not cured, but they do enjoy spending time with the talking pink soc...
VENICE, CALIF. -- The police chief of this small beachside suburb yesterday contracted with an international fish monger to lease three, drug-sniffing great white sharks. "I'm going to turn'em loose in our famous Venice canals," said Chief Ratchet. "...
Norfolk - And it's off with the intravenous drip and straight back to the family fold for Prince Philip where the traditional post-Boxing Day shooting party awaited him in Sandringham's Golden Triangle Wing. La Famiglia's customary pot shots at in...
For centuries Britain has been the world's leading consumer of heroin. Our junkies are the happiest and most wasted on Earth. Indeed, Britain's steel industry was built on providing spoons and syringes for addicts. But now cheap opium from China i...
London - A pilot study at London's Royal Freak Hospital found that a joint dispensing machine in Accident & Emergency has greatly cut down the number of violent incidents. An adapted cigarette machine was installed last week, filled with splif...
Rome - He's suffering from degenerative arthrosis that's said to have affected his hips, ankles, toes and niece (sic). Today Vatican medics let it be known they've prescribed medicinal marijuana to help ease His Holiness into the High Altar and -...
Acapulco - Federal officers today described the haul inside Acapulco Jail as 'kinda low' in terms of numbers as the full extent of the raid became public. The dawn bust had yielded a number of surprises such as the magnificent peacock birds - said...
A Time Team excavation of a Tudor outdoor lav near the King's Privy Garden has unearthed dozens of heraldic bongs belonging to Henry VIII archaeologists said today. Signed by renowned court jeweller Sir Peregrine Nuggets the wrought filigree silve...
MEXICO CITY - Mexican drug kingpins have released a statement through their Twitter accounts stating that they are now accepting gift cards as cash. Police were disoriented when they first heard about their business methods. The police commission...
Washington, DC - A Congressional panel that's searching for ways to save the crumbling US Postal Service has recommended that the agency increase its profits by becoming the nation's narcotics distribution network. With the Internet and e-mail dev...
Aardman Animations was today holding crisis talks with BBC executives after it was revealed the star of their award-winning series Shaun the Sheep had been charged with drug offences. Shaun, 28, claims he was the victim of entrapment when police r...
Riyadh - With a bumper combustibles harvest just in the King of Saudi Arabia has decided to turn back the clock and permit the nation's women to light up again. Announcing the change in law King Abdullah said the move would make the nation's five...
London - A thinly veiled S&M joke at PMQs today saw UK Chancellor George Osborne squirming in his Commons front bench seat. Opposition Leader Ed Miliband's swipe at Government economic policy saw a nudge-nudge/wink-wink remark allude to tabloi...
London - The 1980s pharma best seller was once prescribed to rehab patients who claimed their addictions sprang from congenital marijuana deficiency. This weekend a toxicology report has confirmed traces of the popular tranquilliser Librium were p...
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