Rome - Bishop Guido Sarduchee held a press conference today announcing that the Vatican has been taken over by the Italian government. The relics of Christendom are now available on Ebray, the online action house. The Pope himself is up for ren...
Following last week's decision that water does not prevent dehydration, EC mandarins now reckon it's good for you! Adam's ale has been at the forefront of the European Food Standards Authority's (EFSA) minds lately. They were roundly ridiculed...
As the European debt crisis worsens and Germany faces growing calls to increase its contribution to 'bail out' funds and to return gold bullion stolen from Greece in 1941, there is a growing tide of anger and resentment amongst German people. The...
Heathrow Airport tarmac, Outskirts of London: David Cameron has come back from Germany, after a 15 hour talk with Frau Merkel over the EU, to a 'triumphant' welcome reminiscent of Neville Chamberlain, those many years ago in the late 1930's. 'Our...
Latest legislation passed in Brussels will make it a crime to say that water is wet. The news follows hard on the decision by the European Food Standards Authority (EFSA) that water does not hydrate. A meeting of 21 Euroboffins in Parma came to...
Rome - - The Italian Scare Force was out in numbers today as the dulcet strains of an adapted Dr Hook & The Medicine Show 1972 smash hit were heard resonating from a giant UFO mothership over the Roman skyline at dawn. The flypast coincided wi...
6 Nov 2011: NHS: American Consultancy firm recieves £290,000 a year from UK Government! The Star An American consultancy firm seeking to profit out of thefallout from the shake-up to the NHS is being paid £250,000 a year by the government for advice on the transition towards health secretary Andrew Lansley's vision of the service. The company was one of 57 external "organisation and change" m...
After centuries of trying to dominate Europe, the continent's two major powers are learning a tough lesson. France and Germany are clearly leading the struggle to sort out the Eurozone's financial woes and everyone seemed to be toeing the Franco-G...
London - It's a made-in-heaven opportunity of a lifetime as financial creationists hail the Vatican's latest scam - er...plan! - announced during the Eurozone crisis this week. The proposed establishment of a World Central Bank sees ex-UK Prime Mo...
Tough new regulations from Brussels coming in today aren't only to do with toy safety. They also mean that from now on it will be illegal to wrap up Christmas presents with paper. "Paper cuts can be very serious," explained a EU spokesperson. "Chi...
Brussels - A committee of Europe's leading economists, bankers and nutritionists have developed a simple solution to end the European debt crisis. They propose converting the Euro from a currency into a candy bar. "Currently, we are printing euros...
Due to the worsening economic situation, mainly in Britain but also affecting some other parts of Europe, David Cameron is to urge Brussels to ban totally the use of plastic bags throughout the European Union. Speaking by telephone from one of his...
All forms of martial arts including Karate, Kung-Fu, Jiu-Jitsu and Judo to be banned across Europe because of the violent influence on children in Europe. These sports encourage violence and enrages children to fight each other. The European Union ca...
Following a ruling passed in Brussels last week the size of a tea-bag sold or brewed within EU member states is to be a maxiumum 20mm x 23mm from next year - slightly smaller than a traditional British postal stamp. During the last six months man...
Brussels - EU runt states of Portugal, Ireland, Italy, Greece and Spain have demanded an immediate makeover of their tarnished porcine image. Threatened with default sanctions by their First Brussels Gravy Train Bank masters the PIIGS group said t...
Berlin - Angela Merkel's having none of it, of course, and has told her Holy Father to get stuffed. But with 90% of Opus Dei's investment portfolio wiped out by a rogue trader's disastrous £1.5billion punt Pope Joe Ratzinger's arrival back in the...
Bigwigs in Brussels have banned the use of the name "sausage roll" after a lengthy EU debate. EU scientists tested 10,000 sausage rolls from all over the UK and did not manage to make a single one roll. "Every one of them has at least one flat...
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