How would you feel if you were told that yesterday never existed, but that your universe began when you closed the door to leave the house this morning? Or that it began when you started to read The Spoof? It is an alarming thought, is it not? Yet, it is true. Your universe extends just beyond your fingertips. Stretch, reach out, try and touch that bubble which surrounds you. The people that yo...
Damascus - Protection of prehistoric alien artefuct secrets like the Tripoli County Krak des Chevaliers fortress is top of the joint Russian/Chinese agenda at the UN this weekend. The cold war allies refused to condemn President Assad's continued...
"I'll 'ave t' make this me last one Fred 'cause that clock up on the wall there is sayin' it's five past seven 'n' me darts match at The Golden Lion kicks off at eight. Takes ten minutes t' walk there from this boozer annal. Did I say I've got the dog back indoors now? Yeah she's indoors now playin' wiv me slippers I expect. I've called 'er Marilyn. Friendly little fing she is. Better than fini...
Esteemed space pervert Prof Steven Hawkins has been under investigation by animal rights groups. The shock revelation comes as no surprise as the prof has been on a downward spiral of self destruction that would put Charlie sheen to shame. Hawkins...
"Anyways, I gets back to rand abaat where I knows the flying saucer is. Problem mate. Where's the bleedin' flying saucer? Spanza47b's switched on this invisible mode fing, if that's the correct word like, 'cause 'ow am I s'posed to know abaat such fings? Well I'm standin' there on the sand wiv me slippers 'n' me socks in me 'ands tryin' to figure out 'cisely where bleedin' fing is like. A few oth...
Dorset - Bournemouth resident Steve Hornsby has had a lucky escape after a shower of gelatinous alien boob job filler splattered over his garden this weekend. Globules of pale blue extraterrestrial gunk were seen carpet bombing his lawn during an...
"Cheers Fred, good 'elf mate. Look at that, does a lovely pint of beer landlord does 'ere. Gonna enjoy that I am. Yeah, so as I was saying, last Friday evening it was, 'bout ten t' midnight. I was sitting in me armchair in me living room, just mindin' me own business as yer do. Tryin' t' do me Daily Express Sodtodoko puzzle I was, the harder one like 'cause I'd already mucked up the easy one ea...
HARRISBURG, PA - GOP presidential candidate Rick Santorum further dug a hole for himself this week after telling reporters that he opposes terminating a pregnancy even if an alien impregnated a woman. Asked what he would say if his own daughter ap...
Italy - Some alien marine artefucts were spotted bobbing in the waters amid reports an Unidentified Submerged Object may have goaded the stricken cruiser onto Giglio's uncharted rocks. "Such craft are notorious for luring wayward vessels," an alie...
Aude, France - A camper van convoy heading south to the apocalyptic 2012 town of Bugarach is threatening to sue UK tour operators HippyWheels amid a gruelling three day experience of local extreme plumbing. Treacherous wintry conditions saw the cl...
The Ministry Of Defence has just released details of a close encounter of the third kind, in Dover, Kent, during which Aliens flatly refused to probe a local woman, and threatened to go on strike if their intergalactic overlords attempted to force th...
Norfolk - A Roswell-style security blackout is in force following the grim discovery under some 'Bushes' on the Norfolk estate. Police cordoned off a section of woodland at Anmer amid reports an 'alien stowaway' had been dumped from a low-flying c...
London - "Well, it's a lot closer to the Isle of Dogs than bloomin' Venezuela," was an octogenarian London pensioner's explanation in accepting the free, radical op. Today the offer from a London film studio where the infamous 1995 'alien autopsy'...
Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh and established racist, was recently admitted to hospital with complaints of chest-pains. Though at first it appears as a standard symptom for someone his age the Queen has revealed information that implies they may...
Rome - It's part of moves to atone for the Extraterrestrial Schizm that's rocked the Church since the year dot: God's covenant with non-Earthlings embraces the appointment on an ET pontiff to suck seed (sick) Papa Ratzi - as decreed by the Virgin...
DEADWOOD, SOUTH DAKOTA - Thousands of black-gowned, fang-toothed counter-culturists, all unified by the desire to be recognized by mainstream, so called "natural phenomenalists", gathered in this appropriately named town in the Black Hills of South D...
Gobi Desert - Two humanoid beings are reported to have returned in the 'unmanned' capsule following its successful docking with the mini spacelab Tiangong-1. Chinese Space Agency officials are denying their existence despite a flurry of internet...
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