London - A newlywed from the sacred Merovingian line is being fast-tracked to replace Ass-ended Master Osama. Known only by his Emir Will Panic anagram codename the up-and-coming one flopped badly in spearheading the UK World Cup 2018 bid. A sp...
After all the pomp and ceremony died down after last weeks "royal do" Katie and Willy "got down" to serious royal business immediately. It is tradition amongst the Royals that any female entering the clan must give their male partners "trumpet" a…
Queues have been forming all over London as crowds form to catch sight of discarded items from the Royal Wedding. Crowds have been arriving at Westminster Abbey to view the Duchess of Cambridge's wedding bouquet, but thousands have been flocking t...
Sensational news that Royal Correspondents across all networks and all sections of the media are tonight saying that they've "Had enough" in the wake of the Royal Wedding. Sir Findlay Fotheringay- Phipps, Convener and Shop Steward for the National As...
The Royal Family, David Cameron, The people of the quintessentially English and Berkshire village Bucklebury, and that mental bloke who camped out for days on the pavement outside Westminster Abbey last week, have all been left reeling today followin...
Mullins, the publishers behind the Where's Wally books have paid William and Kate one million pound Stirling to use their wedding photographs in a Where's Wally style book. "We're very excited," said Cullen Mullins, owner of Mullins. "There are th...
The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have had their first argument and are undergoing a "temporary parting of the ways". The Duke is unhappy with the public perception of the former Kate Middleton as being "a lazy mare" as she has not worked since 20...
Prince William and his new bride Princess Catherine have spent their first weekend as a married couple at an unnamed location. The happy twosome decided to delay their honeymoon in order to give the former Miss Middleton the opportunity to learn s...
Prince William and Kate Middleton are taking a Scottish title to commemorate where they first met. The couple first met at St Andrews University 8 years ago and, ever since they decided to get married, they always intended to mark the start of the...
London - The desperate soundbite grab of shameless self-publicists scaling the attention ladder. That's how Omar Jelban, disgraced Libyan Ambassador to the Caught of St James's, described the latest conspiracy theory. This sees delayed gratific...
After a great day of pomp and circumstance watched by over 40 billion people worldwide (including over a million prisoners in the UK on their TV sets), namely his wedding to Kate Middleton, Prince William has announced that he is to postpone his imme...
London - "It's a slim chance, of course, that the Colonel will now try nuking William's in-laws' pad in Bucklebury," an MoD bigwig told reporters this morning. "But the last minute honeymoon switch was a no-brainer...and the weather's said to be l...
London - The 1997 Pont d'Alma tragedy could have been avoided if Diana and Dodi had remembered to belt up. That's the stark message to a defiant Prince William pictured driving his bride without appropriate restraints. "Yeah, Kate really, reall...
While Prince William and Kate Middleton were being married,millions of viewers wondered what their royal whispers meant. Now professional lip reader Tina Lannin has deciphered their words for the rest of us. Here is a transcript: 10:20--William (to brother Harry): "Quite big, isn't it? This wedding." Harry: "Uh, yes. Now let's get on with it. 10:35--William (to Kate): "You look nice."...
Queen Elizabeth II was shown on television sets around the world taking a short nap during the royal wedding of her grandson Prince William to Kate Middleton. While this may be explained away due to advancing age and a really boring ceremony, it was...
In a shock revelation that shocked the world into shock, it was revealed that newly-married Prince William spent his first night of marriage with a commoner. Dave Filth, reporter at large - well he is 32 stone in weight - revealed the sordid facts...
In a real shocker, it was discovered that after trying to consummate the Royal Marriage between Prince William and his new bride, Catherine Middleton, that Middleton was not a woman after all! Just another guy dressed in drag. A stunned Prince Wi...
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