BP is finally beginning preparations for a serious attempt to curb the massive spill from its leaking well in the Gulf of Mexico by opening negotiations with top level management of their rival terror organization, Al Quaeda. The firms tentativel...
Al Qaeda says dead leader Mustafa Abu Yazid, its No. 3 man and commander of its operations, who was killed with his wife, and three of his daughters, was a religious (!) user of Twitter.com, and Tweeted up until his final seconds. Yazid, an Egyptian national, is believed to be the first Al Qaeda member to use Social Networking. The Pentagon has released translated Tweets from the dead terro...
Al Qaeda are planning to blow up the World Cup, but one of their terrorists decided to "move the goalposts" and now they've decided to blow up Wimbledon instead, damn Cads! The supposed reason for this proposed attack was that the Danish and Dutch...
In an effort to win over the hearts and minds of potential Infidel sympathizers, Al-Qaeda has begun the process of developing a new environmentally sensitive car bomb. Spokes-Terrorist Ali Ahmed Akbar, recently unveiled the new design at a car show...
Somewhere in a Cave - A new video has been released by Al Jazeera that they claim has come directly from Osama bin Ladin in which bin Ladin emphatically states that in no way was the recent idiotic attempt to bomb NY the work of one of its operatives...
In a shock announcement al-Qaeda have claimed responsibility for the Icelandic volcano eruption that has caused havoc to the travel industry, and stranded thousands of people over the last few days. Jimmy Al'Babar Quaseerie, spokesman for the terr...
Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri Maliki is today claiming that Abu Ayyub al-Masri, the leader of al-Qaeda in Iraq, has been killed. His death was the result of an ingenious plan cooked up by American creationists and Iraqi intelligence forces. The plan...
IRVING - Jerry Jones decided that it would be a whole heck of a lot cheaper to pay Al Qaeda operatives to destroy the outdated Texas Stadium, which was built in 1971, than to pay an American demolition firm to do the job. Jones said that he made h...
GUANTANIMO BAY, CUBA -- The Obama Administration has announced the closing of Camp X-Ray and the opening of a new, cutting edge prison for the detaining, interrogation, and disciplining of terrorists and other petulant monkeys. The facility is cal...
Al Queda has brought their 'El Cid' out into the fresh air again to renew belief in their cause and to yank the West's chain. According to news sources Osama bin Laden has made a new video praising the Nigerian who tried to take down a US airplane wi...
Suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike on Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to produce an agreement. BA negotiators have been...
In an exclusive interview today, the UK Bully Helping Line revealed that the organisation had received calls and emails from staff working in the Al-Qaeda HQ. "We have had three or four mails", said the Helping Line's Intestina Harradin. One rev...
British citizens have been advised to exercise vigilance when going for a walk in the local park - as they may well stumble upon an Al Qaeda cell, either in training or on operational duty. This despicable Al Qaeda trend began with the emergence o...
A large military academy has been built close to a Mosque run by extremists, causing worshippers to complain. The Sandshoe Academy will be used to train officer cadets. However, nearby is the Mohammad Hurst Mosque. Imam Mohammad Al Kaeeda sai...
15,000 American, Afghan and Nato forces started an assault Friday on a Taliban stronghold in the Central Town of Majah Senior Commanders say a man identifying himself as Osama Bin Laden, considered to be one of the main masterminds of 9/11 has surre...
Osama Bin Laden and the Al Qaida Network are at odds after Bin Laden's latest videos failed to muster viewers. The disappointment is especially bitter for the Al Qaida Network, which had high hopes for the videos after switching the timing of their r...
ACLU spokesman Donna McKay, Director of Institutional Advancement and Special Projects announced today that they have recently accepted a joint Al Quada-Taliban request to file suit against the United States Department of Defense on their behalf und...
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