HOLLYWOOD, CA - Dick Cheney, one of the funniest comedians to come out Washington, D.C. in years, announced the start of his national comedy tour, "Save My Ass." Dick will bring his bizarre take on life and famous deadpan delivery to comedy clubs and...
DES MOINES, IA - As the cases of Swine Flu continue to multiply around the globe, a parallel outbreak of Swine Flew is plaguing farmers and rural residents throughout the U.S. Iowa hog farmer David Lyons described the startling phenomena. "I came...
Washington D.C. - A just released national presidential preference poll of Republican voters has surprised politicians and pundits alike. The poll clearly demonstrates that conservative voters are unhappy with mainstream political candidates and are...
After slapping himself again during a broadcast to demonstrate the banality of CIA torture techniques, radio personality Rush Limbaugh surprised his audience by confessing on air that he is, in fact, a fat, lying buffoon who got beaten up a lot as a...
Austin, Texas - In recent statements, Texas Gov. Rick Perry (R) has suggested that the state of Texas might consider seceding from the Union in response to President Obama's national policies. The Lone Star State was once a republic, and Gov. Perry i...
Washington, D.C. - In response to Rep. Spencer Bachus (R-Ala.), who claims to have a list of 17 socialists in congress, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) announced that she has compiled a list of 178 clinically insane members of congress. Alth...
Washington, D.C. - In a move many consider an act of desperation, presidential hopeful John McCain and his pick for VP Sarah Palin, used their final campaign stops to accuse Obama of being the Anti-Christ foretold in the bible. "Why hasn't anybody...
Argentina's Creepy Gnome reappeared last week in a new locale, the town of Clodomira, Santiago del Estero province. Similar to the first episode, the phone-video sequence starts with footage of young people out late talking and dancing. Soon a black speck is visible on the screen moving up the dimly lit street toward the group. As it draws closer, the pointy-headed pygmy can be made out strolling...
Minneapolis, Minn. -- In an interview with a Twin Cities' radio station today, Minnesota rep. Michele Bachmann floated the idea of providing struggling American farmers with free feed and fertilizer consisting of ground up liberals. "It's a win/w...
Vice presidential hopeful Sara Palin now has a gift shop on her website with campaign related products designed to appeal to her most avid supporters. "Every cent will go toward the McCain/Palin ticket," said the staff member overseeing the endeav...
New York City, NY - In a previously unreleased segment of Katie Couric's recent interview with McCain running mate Sarah Palin, Couric asked Palin about her children and how they would react if Mommy was vice president of the United States. Palin initially denied she had any children, but when pressed, admitted that they did exist. Couric: Why would you say you don't have any children when you...
Representatives from John McCain's campaign have given the Commission on Presidential Debates (CPD) a list of demands related to the debate scheduled for this Thursday evening. Democrats angrily responded by claiming the maneuver was a blatant at...
Washington, D.C. - A clearly distraught Congresswoman Michelle Bachmann (R-MN) fought through tears at a hastily organized press conference announcing that she will not be supporting the McCain/Palin presidential ticket after being passed over for th...
As the presidential election draws near, it's the perfect time to reflect on our duty as citizens to be informed voters. Unfortunately, not everyone who is eligible to vote should vote. That may sound like heresy in a democracy such as ours, but the fact is that careless, unthinking votes can be more harmful than not voting at all, as recent elections have clearly demonstrated. Think about it.
Washington, D.C. - At a press conference today, President Bush outlined the government's response plans as hurricane Gustav approaches the Gulf Coast. "First, let me say how grateful we are that hurricane Katrina tore up so much along the Gulf Coa...
Phoenix, AZ - Cindy McCain, wife of Republican presidential candidate John McCain, told a group of reporters that she is going to buy the presidency of the United States as a gift for John's seventy-second birthday. "I know it's what he really wan...
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