HOLLYWOOD – (Satire News) – Tom Cruise is one of the richest actors in all of Tinsel Town. One Hollywood agent stated that Tom has the Midas Touch, as anything that he touches turns to pure certified, unadulterated gold. The film agent revealed…
BILLINGSGATE POST: GREAT BALLS OF FIRE! In the aftermath of the attack yesterday in which Navy Top Gun pilot, Slim “Maverick” Everdingle, scored 5 kills on Iranian camels, Tom Cruise announced that he would play the role of Lieutenant Everdingle in...
BILLINGSGATE POST: In an extreme example of asymmetric warfare, President Trump retaliated against Iran for attacks on oil tankers in the Persian Gulf by unleashing a barrage of Sidewinder Missiles this morning. Early satellite photos show camel bod...
Executive producer and star of Top Gun 2, Tom Cruise, says there may be a part for Val Kilmer in the follow up the the 1986 classic. "I'm sure we can find a cameo for Val, we would have written him in as something, but no one even realized he was...
Washington, D.C. - As tensions continue to escalate between Russia and Ukraine, Russian President Putin has ordered his fighter jet pilots to flirt with crossing into Ukrainian airspace to tempt a response from the smaller country. In respons...
New York - "Sure I've turned down the role of Charlie Blackwood," Ms McGillis told New York Toast reporters today, "still recovering from a dose of intimate hives after Cruise's last clinch 30 years ago." The 1986 box orifice smash-hit raked in a...
Colorado Springs - "Silly excuse for naked revelry around a bonfire during the full moon!" is how one scornful US general put it as news of the Pentagon funding broke this week. However for the US military's motley crew of wiccans, pagans and asso...
Reports coming out of the Far East would suggest that CCTV (China Central TV) is regularly using footage from Western films and TV shows without paying any royalties. Back in 2004, the then European Trade Commissioner, Peter Mandelson, made the sa...
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