Val Kilmer Gets In Shape For Top Gun 2

Funny story written by XRhonda Speaks

Sunday, 28 May 2017

image for Val Kilmer Gets In Shape For Top Gun 2
Val Kilmer's weight has yo-yoed in recent years, now he's getting in condition for Top Gun 2.

Executive producer and star of Top Gun 2, Tom Cruise, says there may be a part for Val Kilmer in the follow up the the 1986 classic.

"I'm sure we can find a cameo for Val, we would have written him in as something, but no one even realized he was still alive."

Cruise then dismissed any possibility of Kilmer returning as the Iceman.

"If we had more time for Val to get ready, and I'm not blaming him, I know he's been real sick..."

Kilmer now resides at Hollywood Hills Villages, a retirement facility that often hosts Hollywood greats in their twilight years.

This reporter visited Kilmer for dinner at the retirement home, the only time when the guests and visitors are allowed to drink (a two drink maximum).

Kilmer, known for his rudeness in interviews, gave this reporter a hearty greeting and a hug and showed me to his favorite table.

"It's Friday," the former actor said, "you should try the tuna casserole if you're hungry."

When asked about his preparations for the film, Kilmer detailed his recent activities:

"Well PT [physical therapy] said I can go without my walker for as long as I can stand it, I've gained back some muscle, and I can take myself to the shower now."

"But I'm hoping they will write Iceman's character as disabled--you know, from a combat injury--that would explain his condition. I was a little out of shape before the cancer, but yeah, I'm not quite in the old Iceman shape yet."

This reporter then told Kilmer the hard truth, which is that Paramount Studios and Cruise do not plan on having him play Iceman, and that's when Kilmer reverted to his typical bad interview form: The dis-interested death stare and silence. Interview over.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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