London - Charged with three c*unts of common assault tonight the evidence is piling up high against Falkirk MP Eric Joyce. Police sources said this evening they were looking into Wednesday night's Strangers Bar CCTV footage where a Commons barman...
Surrey - (Radioactive Mess): Police are probing ex-UK Prime Monster Margaret Thatcher's PR director Lord Bell after one of his Russian oligarch clients mysteriously dropped dead while enjoying a potentially lethal Plutonium 210-laden ciggie.
Bloodyvostock - (Suspicious Mess): The Russian security service has arrested ex-UK Labour Leader Neil Kinnock's son Boris Vladimirovich Khruschev-Kinnock.
Washington - (DissassoCIAted Press): A Russian intelligence expert who blamed George W Bush for the Plutonium 210 poisoning of former KGB turncoat Alexander Litvinenko in London last year has been critically injured after a mysterious drive-by shooti...
London - (AssoCIAted Mess): Hapless ex-KGB colonel Alexander Litvinenko RIP may have been the subject of an elaborate wind up by Tessa Jowl's Department for Vultures, Mediocrity and Spots into thinking it was Russian President Vlad The Impaler Pu...
Ipswich - (Ass Mess): Journalists hunting the latest scare story to terrorise the UK have admitted that the Suffolk Ripper, as he/she is being called after five women were found murdered in the Ipswich area, may be the latest twist in the Polonium ho...
Santiago, Chile - (Ass Mess): Leading Global Piss Process luminaries, Bush Administration client-dictators and top-notch account holders of the Riggs Bank are preparing to fly to Santiago for the funeral of General Augusto Pinochet whose death yester...
Whitehall, SW1 - (Ass Mess): Prime Monster's wife Cherie Blair has told Breakfast TV about the moment when police officers from the UK's National Poisons Unit raided her Chambers after a number of barristers' wigs tested positive for Plut...
In the ongoing radiation poisoning saga, the toxic Polonium 210 has infected two more victims. President George W. Bush and Prime Minister Tony Blair have both tested positive with Polonium 210 poisoning. The highly radioactive material is deadly, bu...
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