UKIP, right wing Tories and red-top tabloids have all today condemned the entrance of an illegal immigrant into Paddington. The suspect believed to be named as Paddington Bear was taken in my a suburban family believed to be known as 'The Browns' and...
Dear Sir, I note that Paddington Bear will appear at Dalemain country house near Ullswater on the 25th and 26th of February, where he will visit The World's Original Marmalade Awards & Festival. He won't, though, not really. Because he doesn't actually exist, does he? Some soft-headed twerp buys his idiotic wife a teddy bear, then decides to write a book about an imaginary bear. It t...
Paddington Bear is to lead an immediate investigation into the alleged 'renditioning' of a loaf bread and the contents of a jar of marmalade apparently removed from the cupboard of his live-in landlords, the Browns. The Bear, from Deepest Darkest...
London- Although we're pretty sure he had never been to Paddington Station, "public enemy number one", Osama Bin Laden, seemed to have a lot in common with Britain's number one bear, Paddington Brown, a just released report on the Taliban leader's de...
As darkness fell in darkest Africa, people began heading home from their work for their dinners, some on buses and some on trains. But in one railway station in the centre of the city of Paddington, in Ghana, a strange sight could be seen, for sitting all alone with a suitcase in his hand was a small obama bear, with a sign saying 'Please look after this obama. Thank you.' Most of the passers-b...
Mr Brown was a Man of little consequence, carrying a little case, containing a little of his life, but of no consequence to anyone else. He thought of his family, and Mr Gruber, the unpleasant little Neo-Nazi who lived next door, who shook his fist at the world, and who grew old and grey, because he had never been lucky enough to meet the right girl. Mr Brown was at the station,...
In these days of worldwide Bear Markets, Paddington thought he had it made in the shade. That is until voters were reminded of the origins story behind the story. At first the British public was completely emamoured. His humble beginnings as a wa...
In celebration of the 50th birthday of Paddington Bear, the Cleavland Zoo announced today that they would be re-naming one of their bears, Paddington. His name up until now was Neil. Cleavland Zoo representative Barry Brown said that they had want...
"We did not give her permission to write in English", spokesperson Sir Humphries Paddington Bear IV, punctuates.
Paddington Bear, the bear who is now the face of Marmite, tells the Sun his heart wrenching rags to riches story.
Beloved bear from Darkest Peru, Paddington Bear says that he was sold out by his creators to further the cause of Satan's recipe, Marmite.
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