Jokes

All jokes submitted by norma snockers.

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Showing page 4 (of 21 pages)

A Tip of the Hat

A man was sunbathing naked at the beach. For the sake of civility, and to keep it from getting sunburned, he had a hat over his privates. A woman walks past and says, snickering, If you were a gentleman...

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The Paint Job

The parish priest needs his house painted so he offers the job to one of his altar boys. The first day the kid paints the entire inside of the house, hes sweating like hell but eventually gets it finished....

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Cactus

Good morning! How may I help you say it with flowers? the florist cheerfully asked as he answered his phone. Well, since you put it that way, the male caller answered, I want you to send my secretary...

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Expensive!

There was a Chinese father named Cheng who was very close to his son. They used to go everywhere together including looking for birds (Chinese slang for prostitute). One day, Chung the son decided to...

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In Case of Emergency

A man goes to a fancy dress party wearing only a glass jar on his penis. The woman who answered the door asks, What are you? He replies, Im a fireman! But youre only wearing a glass jar? says the woman....

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The Contest

A man is sitting at home with his wife. He says to her, You know, I was thinking of going down to the bar tonight and entering them that big-dick contest. Oh honey, she exclaims, I dont want you taking...

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The eye test

A bloke goes in to see an optician. The doctor says, You have to stop masturbating. The bloke says, Why? Am I going blind? The doctor says, No, youre upsetting the other patients in the waiting room....

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The lucky milk man

Sadly neglected by her husband, a horny housewife turned to her next-door neighbour for advice. Why dont you order your milk from the milkman was the suggestion, and when the bill comes, see if you can...

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He was not amused

My husband came home with a tube of K Y jelly and said, This will make you happy tonight. He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it all over the doorknobs. He couldnt get back in....

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Crutches?

When Ralph first noticed that his penis was growing larger and staying erect longer, he was delighted, as was his wife. But after several weeks, his penis had grown to nearly twenty inches. Ralph became...

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Was it worth it?

George said to Mary, Ill bet you ten dollars that we could have the best sex that you have ever had without me touching you. Youre nuts, she said, Here is ten dollars that says you cant do that! They...

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The Farmer's Son

The farmer and his wife had worked hard, scrimped and saved to send their son to college. As soon as he had enrolled, he started to grow a beard. Next he grew a large moustache and sideburns. Being pleased...

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The smell

One day, this old man was about to have sex with an eighteen-year-old girl, whom he did not know. The old man began to put on his condom when the young girl asked him why is he putting one on. She said you...

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The dentist

A lady enters the dental surgery, takes off her stockings, underwear, makes herself comfortable in the chair, spreads her legs apart. Dentist: Madam, are you sure youre in the right place? Probably, you need...

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No longer a virgin?

A man longs to wed a maiden with her virtue intact. He searches for one but resigns himself to the fact that every female over the age of 10 in his town has been at that. Finally he decides to take matters...

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The weathervane

So ya see, little Johnny is sitting in class one day, and the teacher is going to go over agricultural stuff, like farms, and what not. So she asks the class how does a farmer tell the weather on his...

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The Natural Blonde

A blonde walks into a bar, the guy at the counter says to her, Are you a natural blonde? Why, yes, I am, says the blonde. Can you prove it? asks the guy. How do you propose I do this?, asks the blonde....

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Climax

A wife went in to see a therapist and said, Ive got a big problem, doctor. Every time were in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this ear splitting yell. My dear, the shrink said, thats completely...

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Same sex marriages

Whats all the fuss about same-sex marriages? Ive been married for years, and I keep having the same sex....

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What remark?

What is a woman with sperm on her glasses most likely to say? I saw that one coming......

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Join the Club

Mom, Im pregnant, announced a sixteen year old one morning in a belligerent tone of voice. Her mother paled. And its all your fault, continued the girl. My fault? gasped the mother. I bought you books,...

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Agricultural Machinery Accident

A farmer orders an expensive milking machine. He decides to test it on himself first, so he inserts his manhood into the equipment and turns on the switch. Soon he realizes that the equipment provides...

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The toupee

A middle-aged guy and his date are making out hot and heavy in the movies when his toupee slides off. As hes groping around for it, his hand goes between her legs, up under her skirt, and lands on her...

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In big trouble

John was in a bar looking very dejected. His friend, Steve, walked over and asked, Whats wrong? Its my mother-in-law, John replied, while shaking his head sadly. I have a real problem with her. Cheer...

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