Wolf Blitzer - My Fake Diary

Wednesday, 24 July 2013

"Geraldo Rivera scooped me again. Wearing a towel and those ridiculous sunglasses on one of those social media sites. They're social disease sites! CNN said they want me to wear a loincloth and ride a camel around New York City, Los Angeles, or Chicago and conduct 'man on the street' interviews. I told them they can go to Iran, Iraq, or Afghanistan, kidnap a a camel, then make it their new anchor. I'm quitting! What ever happened to good journalism? I'm newsman, and I refuse to be objectified! I'm not one of Hugh Hefner's funny bunnies! Do I look like one of The Girls Next Door? I'm done. I'll grow my beard and mustache longer, join a motorcycle gang, and act like a miscreant. What outlaw motorcycle gang wouldn't accept a new member by the name of Wolf? Taxi driver, take me to the nearest Harley-Davidson shop."


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