Susan Boyle - My Fake Diary

Saturday, 15 May 2010

Och! It's bin a busy few weeks in ma life. I'm recording ma 2nd album which is fair exciting. I'm also decorating ma new hoose. Mike Holmes and Bob the Builder are helpin' me oot. The Spoof has published cute articles on ma renovations an' such. A do hope people go an' read them.

Chubby Brown's wife is coming to help me choose furniture. A did hear she is a wee bit - how can A put it.....well, as the American and Canadians say (and maybe others too)...a wee bit "po'y mouthed".

A really don't know why anyone should be worrying aboot me meetin' her because, I can hold my own in a 'po'y mouth' competition, as can many of the folk A ken to tell the truth.

A have already warned Mrs.Chubby tha' A want NAE RED in ma new hoose.

A am fair sick o' those loonies wi' the red scarves an' blessings.

They can go t' the divil, as far as A am concerned. Sending me bloody stuff that a didna want in the first place. Camping ootside ma hoose an' telling me they love me. Fer crying oot loud.....bloody
maniacs the lo' o' 'em.

The Priory's too good fer them wee lassies. It's a good talking ta' tha' they want. Someone should be helping them oot wi' all the crazy idjet things they do and the crazy idjet things tha' must be goin' on in their heads. Aye! They're definitely in need o' help in ma opinion.

Ah well! A have too much to be doing te bother aboot them anymore tonight.

Night night dear diary.

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