Ross Kemp - My Fake Diary

Monday, 6 February 2023

I see that Liz Truss is trying to make a comeback. Perhaps I should do the same. Danny Dyer has waded into my patch, with his dainty little trotters, he is only a size seven, but he will tell everyone he is an 11.

I will start small, Ross Kemp in Cheltenham, Ross Kemp in the nice bits of any big city. Ross Kemp talks to the Princes (all of them, excluding Harry and Andrew) I want to stay in with the Royal family, after all Sir Ross Kemp has a nice ring to it, don't you think?