Rosie O'Donnell - My Fake Diary

Friday, 30 January 2009

Dear Dairy, (I am crap at spelling but don't cry)

Today has been a f---ed up day. First of all, my shampoo conditioner just made my wrinkles worse and they stood out in front of everyone.

I accidentally forgot my jocks and skirt at home when I went to the shops bottom naked.

Rumours are going around about me. They are lies (shhh...they are true) and complete sh-t!

I weighed myself on the scale just to find out I gained 545,999 kgs. I gone from 1 kg up to 546,000 kgs. WAWAWAW!!!

Barrack Obama called me a f---ed up loser. He is rude and and he said p-ss off and I p-ssed him off. Get it?

I went to the shops and the Chinese ripped me off. I said "Don't rip me off ever again!" and they are like "Me no chinese" well they can shut their big fat f---en hillary clinton mouth.

I commited suicide off the White House roof to the ground and I NEARLY DIED grrrrr...

I found myself shopping in the men's fashion store and I bought myself 2 pairs of men's briefs and I tried them on and wore them everywhere.

I was meant to give my bills money to the Government but I donated it to the poor Now im sad forEVER grrr...but im a dumb mums bum.

Well I will write about tomorrow's dumb retarded day Cya