Rosie O'Donnell - My Fake Diary

Thursday, 30 July 2009

Dear Diary:

It's tough being a fat lesbian bitch with no talent, married to a good looking lesbian bitch who's only with me because I'm famous and lavish a lot of my fucking money on her. Why the fuck did I have her sign a pre-nuptial agreement? God knows, if I kick her ass out the door, she will get five million of my dollars. Well, only five million of my dollars. On the other hand, she could get joint custody of our child. And I'll end up having to pay child support to her if she gets primary custody.

God, my life bites. I've paid more for one piece of pussy than Hef has for all of his! I'm going to see a lawyer tomorrow morning to find out how I can get this bitch out of my life. Then I'm going out and buy a man named Richard so I can get laid by a real dick. It can't be any worse than getting screwed by a chick. Maybe there is something to the "straight" lifestyle.

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