Michael Phelps - My Fake Diary

Thursday, 23 October 2008

I may have to see the doctor this week about some decreasing interval times in the pool. I suspect the real reason for me slowing down has something to do with added resistance from too much muscle mass on a certain part of my body. I had been trying to avoid female contact before work outs, but I'm finding that an engorged "Little Mikey" is pushing its way into my body suit and out into the pool, creating more drag with each lap. When I do the backstroke, I look like a submarine with a center mast poking up above the water.

My coach had been telling me to lay off the women before hitting the pool, but this pole seems to be acting like an anchor, slowing me down on each lap. I wish the doctor would just write me a prescription for sex, and I could wave it in my coaches face. If not, something else will be waving in his face and it won't be paper.

All I need is a little booty call before each training session and I'm fine. Little Mikey goes to sleep for a while and I swim faster, its as simple as that. Chicks make me fast. (Don't tell the Dutch swimmers my secret)


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