Jesus - My Fake Diary

Thursday, 15 January 2015

I'm on masturbation patrol at the moment. I have a room like an aircraft hangar full of CCTVs. My trained eyes can spot wanking or strumming a mile away. I like to catch Jesuits at it, they go apeshit. Sometimes I miraculously glue their hands on their genitals for forty days and forty nights for a laugh.