Jeremy Beadle - My Fake Diary

Tuesday, 14 July 2009

I have been sitting here on this cloud for two years now, and have had a great time watching people on earth make a mess of their lives. It has been very peaceful here and you could call it 'heaven'.

I must thank God that he took me before the credit crunch took hold of people's lives - I wouldn't want to be caught up in that!

Last week, we had a new visitor, whom I recognized as Michael Jackson. I have always been led to believe that I was in heaven but now I'm not so sure - it must be dawning on me that in reality I am in hell!

Certainly, the cherubs are keeping their distance!