HRH Prince Phillip, Duke of Edinburgh - My Fake Diary

Friday, 4 August 2006

Diary Dearest,

I decided it was high time I put something - anything -in your pages since I haven't done so since November. By Jove, we missed Christmas, Boxing Day, and, though I'd rather forget it, that red, white, and blue holiday that the rebels across the pond celebrate.

Oh, if I had been king in those days - I mean, a real king, and not a milquetoast figurehead, I assure you that those bloody colonists would be shining my boots. Every one of them. Colonists, that is. I don't have that many boots. I prefer heels, myself. They go better with my kilts. Don't you think?