HRH Prince Phillip, Duke of Edinburgh - My Fake Diary

Monday, 14 December 2009

Dear diary - I like a blind guy just as much as the next man, so why are the bloody-media-puffters having another pop at me?

O.K. - so I insulted some poor sod because his tie was crap.

How was I to know that he was blinded defending the country that just happens to be owned by me and the wife?

I know what it feels like being blind and so I know how it must feel when a pig-ignorant herbert takes the rip.

But, answer me this question, royal diary?- do I take offence when the missus has a pop at me when I' blind-drunk?

Of course not! I just bloody well get on with my job of upsetting as many foreigners as possible.

The bloody soft bastards have lost their sense of humour!