George W. Bush - My Fake Diary

Sunday, 10 January 2010

How come nobody ever believes me when I get on the phone and try to order a pizza? It's always "can I have your name and number?" and I answer them and they say "yeah, right" and hang up.

Don't they think that I get hungry sometimes?

I've always got to have one of my secret service detail order for me, and they always get it wrong. I hate mushrooms on my pizza and I want extra onions, but I always get mushrooms and no onions.

I'm not head of the free world anymore. I can have onion breath if I want.

What I really want right now is a pizza. Maybe if I disguised my voice or said that I was Dick Cheney. Nobody ever remembers Vice Presidents, unless they shoot someone or something. I'm going to try.