David Cameron - My Fake Diary

Friday, 18 May 2012

I have called on the Eurozone to take a leaf out of the UK's book in order to overcome its current crisis, insisting that the British economy was "moving in the right direction".

Telling them that our Government's austerity measures are working, and our industrial and business owners and investors are getting more returns for less output now, than ever before!

I didn't mention our rising levels of violent crime, our highest unemployment level for 30 years, NHS patients dying on trolleys in the corridors of our half closed hospitals, the summer riots, our 3 million illegal immigrants, our starving pensioners, or our MPs fiddling - well there not important issues are they?