Angus D Teen - My Fake Diary

Sunday, 18 May 2003

Oh, the horrors.

"There's not much going on here, where I am. In fact, it's strangely peaceful - normally there are the wailers and moaners, clanking around, bustling and jostling for a touch of me. But no - nothing."

This was me, trying to write as the Devil when he's alone. I feel sorry for the Devil when he's alone because he must be like me. I really like the idea of death, I embrace it. For in our deaths is release, and I wish to be released from this earthly toil. I imagine Death and the Devil to be good friends, friends who perhaps play poker and share their women - good, close friends.

I tried to forge a union once with the Devil using a Ouija board. Or wee-jee, as we call it. The union was unsuccessful, although I did try to imbibe a quart of bleach as a result. Perhaps that was my good friend, Death, calling me.

The wee-jee incident was not a roaring success. In the beginning we were very impressed with the way we were able to spell out the words 'devil' and 'death'. But when we got a little more drunk (we were drinking lots of schnapps) we started asking less serious questions of the board, and at one stage we were informed that the devil's real name was Tim. So clearly, it wasn't working out - the Devil's name is definitely not Tim.

Today has been a good day and I have had much success with the girls I know. Some of them now think that I am 'deep' and 'weird'. My plan is pretty much succeeding. Although, admittedly, I can't really remember trying to be either deep or weird. But heck - I guess that if I can pull it off without even trying to do it - I must be good! Theresa still won't talk to me. I guess I shouldn't have said those things about her nipple rings. I had no right to say such things. And Rob's giving me a hard time now, too. He threatened me for what I said, but he's always doing that anyway.

I'm going shopping tonight to Walmart. I'm going to see if I can ditch my M&D and go and look at CDs or something. It's a pain in the derrier that there isn't a rock&metal CD section in Walmart. So I end up looking like a prick.

I wrote this poem tonight, and I'll leave you with that.

"I'm so in love with the idea of love

I cannot see the death above

that tolls and make the strolls of life so lame

and tame. Oh that wondrous time that must have been

when animals and things were really clean

and Time was something no man could steal."

Night night -

Devil Prince Charming

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